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Dr. Kappler: I know I am very depressed. Some one on JA told

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Dr. Kevin Kappler: I know...
Dr. Kevin Kappler: I know I am very depressed. Some one on JA told me I had BPD. If that doesn't depress some one, what will? I'm always sad. I have been alone for 3 years. I do not work and I am not good at joining a club. I have PTSD and anxiety from a difficult marriage that ended. He was physically abusive and emotionally torturing me. I have been going to therapy since Dec.1, of 2011. I was at the point of suicidal. I took a chance and met some one on line last Sept. I did go to visit him twice. I bought in to all kinds of things he said to me. I wanted to believe him. I was desperate for someone to care about me. I find out in the past month, he wasn't just saying nice things to me, but to several other women on line. He uses his therapist title as a free pass to say intimate, and personal things to many women. Now comes to today. I feel that I can't stop this downward sprial and I am sinking deeper and deeper. I don't see what's the point in staying alive. I am tired of living. It hurts. I don't have the strength to fight any more.I don't have the strength to breathe. I have no one's hand to grab hold of to keep from drowning. It feels like I have been living this way for several years. What's the point. I want the pain and sadness to stop. I want to stop breathing. I don't want to be anymore. Yes, I have kids, and yes I have grand kids, and brothers and sisters, and yes they will be say for me after its over, but they will go on. They each have alot to live for. I'm done, and I'm tired. What to do???????? There's nothing to gain by staying around. I thought about running but the problems just come with me. I'm so confused. I hate who I am. Obviously other people are not too fond of me either. I believe loneliness can actually kill a person. I don't know if I'm asking for your help or I am just venting because you're the last person left who would listen to me. What to do???? I'm so tired. I can't breathe.
Submitted: 5 years ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 53 minutes by:
5/2/2012
Mental Health Professional: Doctor Kevin, Ph.D. replied 5 years ago
Doctor Kevin
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,482
Experience: 25 years in private practice
Verified
Dr.Kappler :

thank you for choosing just answer and I'm sorry to hear that one of my colleagues told you you have borderline personality disorder. It's not our right to diagnose someone in this context and I'm especially sorry if you feel insulted and depressed because of it. This service that attempts to provide answers but does not attempt to do therapy.

Customer:

Help me Dr. Kappler. I'm sinking. I cannot stop. I'm not scared. I am looking to find peace.

Dr.Kappler :

Having said that I am very concerned about the degree of grief and feelings of wanting to end your life that you're dealing with. You mentioned that you have a therapist that I think you'll be very important to let that person know how you're feeling right now. If that person is not able to help you I can provide some other supports and contacts over the Internet to help you deal with those feelings.

Customer:

I don't know if I want help, just someone to agree with me and say it's OK.

Customer:

Please don't leave me, I'm scared.

Dr.Kappler :

I think it's important that you stay in therapy and deal with the anxiety and stress from your previous marriage.I'm sorry to hear that the person that you met on the Internet did not work out in real time. Relationships like those are very easy to form and can be very different when you finally meet the person face-to-face. The fact that this man is using the same pickup lines with other women is unfortunate.if he truly does use his therapist title is a way to manipulate women then you should report him and I can help you with that.

Customer:

I am tired. I am sad. I was the one who was desperate. I'm ready to give up.

Customer:

You have answered some questions from me in the past few days, but I changed my name so he couldn't find me.. Help me. Is it too late?

Dr.Kappler :

I hear a tremendous amount of despair that you describe your current emotional situation. I feel very fortunate that people in their early 60s feel that life is over for them when they have many more years to live. It is unfortunate that older people are not revert in our society since we have so much to offer people who are younger than we are. You sound like you're struggling with feelings of self-loathing. I have found when I have felt that way that it is just my anger turned inward and if I can find out what is making me angry in my environment than I can usually reduce the amount of depression. From what you said I would assume having been manipulated by this person through the Internet would be enough to make anyone furious. I see that you are typing so I will await your reply

Customer:

I want somebody to care about me, but I can't force them. I am alone and done with trying. Am I such a bad person?

Dr.Kappler :

I realize that you feel very tired and very desperate and want to give up but you have done some things to protect yourself so that this person to let you down cannot find your. It is not too late to realize that your world is a much better world than the one he is living in.

Customer:

Help me. I'm scared.

Dr.Kappler :

when you say you want someone to care about you that is common to everyone in a basic human need. Not having someone's direct appreciation does not mean that you are a bad person it simply means that there is not someone there to recognize you and comfort you aside from your religious feelings and beliefs

Customer:

I can't do it. I'm at the end of the line. I want it to stop.

Dr.Kappler :

when you say you want it to. What are you talking about exactly?

Customer:

I am taking up space of some one that is , what? better than me, serves a purpose, some one who is loved. I am none of those. I can't breathe. I am done with trying to fight

Customer:

I can't do it.

Customer:

I'm tired. I didn't want to cry, it shows a sign of weakness. Who cares?

Dr.Kappler :

you say you're taking up space someone that you feel is better than you are and I wonder how you can make that judgment? For all you know you could be better off than they are psychologically emotionally or spiritually

Dr.Kappler :

crying in my book not sure sign of weakness but allows you to express some of your sorrow.

Dr.Kappler :

It is in many ways a very noble act

Customer:

I'm lost in a fog. I can barely read your answers. It's a weakness to cry. Who cares? I'm am so tired.

Customer:

I have many pills to take, but I'm afraid that they won't work. I'm scared

Customer:

I can't breathe. I don't know what to do.

Customer:

I hate myself and I am no use to anyone. I don't even know why I'm crying. Such a waste of tears. No body cares.

Customer:

Please come back, Dr. Kappler. Don't abandon me.

Dr.Kappler :

as I said when I first started out this service provides consultation only and is not designed to provide therapy. You have a therapist from you need to contact and let them know how you are feeling right now. Here's also the telephone number of the national suicide Hotline and there should be someone there who can help you if you are feeling like hurting yourself:

1-***-***-****

Customer:

I guess that's not you.

Customer:

You are a Dr. help me

Customer:

I'm done asking for help and no one cares. I will push the accept button if thats more important to you.. Don't worry you'll get paid. I have the $. You want it ? I don't care

Dr.Kappler :

as I said it the beginning there are limits to the amount that I can help in this consultation service. I made it clear then and I will make clear now that you do have resources that are available for you. This is not a suicide prevention hotline. I would encourage you to use the other resources that you have available to help you in your situation right now

Doctor Kevin
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,482
Experience: 25 years in private practice
Verified
Doctor Kevin and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 5 years ago

Thank you for at least reading my question. I'm done. I won't bother you anymore.

Everybody sends me to someone else. No one wants to help. I understand. Thanks

Mental Health Professional: Doctor Kevin, Ph.D. replied 5 years ago
I'm sorry I cannot help you anymore than what I have already. I hope you follow up on some of the suggestions and referrals I made. In it he
Doctor Kevin
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,482
Experience: 25 years in private practice
Verified
Doctor Kevin and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask Doctor Kevin Your Own Question
Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,482
1,482 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 25 years in private practice

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