I'm sorry that you feel so bad on your getaway. It's hard to cope when you are feeling so down. When you have been through so many stressors like you have, it's bound to affect you, even to the point where a getaway doesn't help.
You and I have talked about some techniques that you can use to help you feel better. But if those things are not working now, we can try some other things.
Depression, if not caused by a chemical imbalance, is caused by the kinds of thoughts you are having. To help yourself, try these ideas:
Focus on what you feel grateful for- this is sometimes hard to fathom when you feel so bad, but there are things in your life that you can be grateful for. Your daughter, your home, a chance to get away, money for food, etc.
Get around animals- dogs are excellent therapists! They are never down and always happy to see you. Petting a dog can lower your blood pressure and reduce your stress. It can also make you feel happy.
Surround yourself with positive people- spend a day with a cheery friend, attend a group at church, or go out with someone who always makes you laugh.
Make sure you keep journaling and expressing your feelings. Just the act of getting it off your chest can help you feel less alone and less down.
I hope you are feeling better soon,