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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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I am a retired dentist with a 26 yearnold aDULT OVER WEGHT

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I am a retired dentist with a 26 yearnold aDULT OVER WEGHT daughter,who finished law school in kentucky. She has taken the california 3 times unsuccessfully. She says she does not want to be a lawyer. she has nevver hhad a job. she lives ith her sister in la and just eats , works on computer and sleep. she has said she has filled out applications but no jobs. Her efforts are next to none. Can you please advise. I suffered from depression an it is a horrible life even when you take medications
Dr. Rossi :

Hi, is her stay at her sister's temporary? How does she get money to cover her expenses ?

Dr. Rossi :

Her behavior could be opportunistic as well as relate to a depressive disorder if she's mostly sitting at home and eating/sleeping.

Dr. Rossi :

Her sister may be enabling her to continue with this behavior as she would not have a motivation to change either internal if she's depressed or external (relying on others)

Dr. Rossi :

It may be helpful for her sister to set some expectations of her i.e. contribute some montly fee to cover room and board, get out of the house, consult with a counselor, etc. At 26, a person should have had a job even if it is not in their field of education (unless she's in some way disabled)

Customer:

she has been their for 2 years because she did not want to live with us. Dad and I pay for everything. We are not rish, we love our children. We help her sister. She lost her job and is now basically on her on. she also has no benefits. We agree she should be doing something. She says she sends out applications. She sometimes does not answer our phone calls

Customer:

My daughter will not talk to us. we are not asham of her failure to pass the bar, we want her to try

Dr. Rossi :

Without benefits she can still get mental health services through the CA Community Mental Health Agency. She may be isolating because of her mood, self eteem issues, guilt, etc. It would be necessary for her to try and get out of the home even if it is to walk.

Dr. Rossi :

If she likes to spend time on the computer, she could apply for work online jobs at virtualvocations.com or ratracerebellion.com, amongst other sites.

Dr. Rossi :

Getting connected with a counselor and or psychiatrist can be done through the local community mental health centers. She could get some direction as to what to do/what her options are, address her mood, goals, and so on.

Customer:

i will pass that to her, if she will talk to me. i am in a rehabilitation hospital following full knee replacemen

Dr. Rossi :

Pass it onto her sister as well. She has to do something in order for things to change for her. Even finding a PT work could be a positive thing.

Dr. Rossi :

She could even meet people at volunteering sites where she may get leads on jobs.

Customer:

WE paid for private schools and law school. She only owes 35,000 because she studied abroad for international law

Dr. Rossi :

That way she can still in some way use her law degree- maybe work with troubled youth. The dept. of juvenile justice may be a good place to look for work.

Customer:

we gave them to august to get something going. they just call us and we pay. It is taking everthing to keep them afloat

Dr. Rossi :

At least they can get the help.

Dr. Rossi :

She may look for teaching online jobs with her legal degree.

Dr. Rossi :

It's important that she stays hopeful and not get discouraged.

Customer:

we pay for bppo health for both of them. they will not go to a doctor for help. I spent 20 years in the military as a dentist. it was horrible. i did what we had to do to provide for them.

Dr. Rossi :

There are support groups if your daughter does not want to talk to a counselor. The United Way toll free # 211 dialed from a land line can advise her of which ones are in her area or nami.org may have a listing for that area. These are suggestions that I can think of. Not sure how to advise on something if she does not want to look into it.

Customer:

thank you. i just fill trapped. randi told her dad she feels like a loser. I do nt want her tobecome sucidal. i am worried. i will save everything for her dad to read when he visits me tonight. is their way he could contact you for questions he may have. we will pay

Dr. Rossi :

Stay optimistic for her though. If you project your frustation she would assume it as her own reaction. Make sure that her sister oberves any changes in mood/behavior. Social interaction is helpful even if the two of them go out window shopping ,to the park, etc. The more she stays at home, the more time she'd have to ruminate and feel bad.

Dr. Rossi :

You can always contact me through this site. Just write for Dr.Rossi at the start of the post so I can see it when I am online.

Customer:

i have to go to physical therapy soon. i will save everything for dad to see. thank you

Dr. Rossi :

Thank you!

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