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Brad The Therapist
Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience:  10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
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Im pretty sure my wife is cheating on me but she denies

Customer Question

hi my name is ***** ***** im pretty sure my wife is cheating on me but she denies it..what do i do
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Brad The Therapist replied 5 years ago.
Brad The Therapist :

thank you for your question. Before providing recommendations, I have a few questions for you. Please tell me more about your relationship with your wife. Why do you suspect her of cheating? How long have you noticed any difficulties in your marriage?

Customer:

the last7 months or so

Customer:

less sex

Brad The Therapist :

Anything else...such as spending less time with each other?

Customer:

yes

Brad The Therapist :

What makes you think she is cheating on you?

Customer:

shes going out more

Brad The Therapist :

as in spending time with friends?

Customer:

when intimate she wants to do it a differnt way and feels looser inside

Brad The Therapist :

Have you confront her on your suspicions?

Customer:

yes friends or w co workers...happy hour..

Customer:

yes and she denies

Brad The Therapist :

what are you unhappy about in your marriage?

Brad The Therapist :

other than sex.

Customer:

less attentave blowing me off more mad..

Brad The Therapist :

have you considered going to a couples therapist?

Customer:

yes but she doesnt want to

Brad The Therapist :

Do you feel your wife is happy?

Customer:

oh shes happy

Brad The Therapist :

why do you think your wife does not want to see a couples therapist?

Customer:

she says there is no troubles

Brad The Therapist :

but you feel there is...correct?

Customer:

yes

Brad The Therapist :

what does she say to you when she goes and spend time with her friends, but you don't want her too

Customer:

my friend said the new underwear is a huge sign

Brad The Therapist :

not necessarily

Customer:

sometimes she says shes workimg late

Brad The Therapist :

yes, as you know people do work late

Customer:

yes

Customer:

gigling on the phone in the bedroom?

Customer:

talks about him at home

Brad The Therapist :

who is the other guy?

Customer:

hes older and she likes older men

Customer:

co worker

Brad The Therapist :

I see. do you think she is having an emotional affair with her coworker?

Customer:

she called me once and had 2 drive him home cause he was drunk

Customer:

i think shes doin something

Brad The Therapist :

Any other evidence of her doing more than just having an emotional connection with the coworker

Customer:

well the underwear and lingerie..not wearing 4 me and i do the laundry mostly

Brad The Therapist :

have you talked to her about this coworker? If so what did she say?

Customer:

she gets mad

Brad The Therapist :

What does she say?

Customer:

sticks up 4 him

Brad The Therapist :

how does she stick up for him

Customer:

isk why she talks about him and i dont talk 2 her about my co workers

Brad The Therapist :

i don't understand

Customer:

lots of ways

Brad The Therapist :

give me one example

Customer:

shes done a one eighty in 6 months

Brad The Therapist :

what do you mean?

Customer:

not me or kids..its work and gary this gary that working late i dont know

Brad The Therapist :

Ok, my suggestion for you is to have a frank discussion with your wife regarding your uncomfortable feelings you are experiencing whenever she talks about her co-worker. Although she feels that there are no issues in the marriage, you feel that there are and that you would like her to join you in couples therapy.

Brad The Therapist :

If she does not join you, I suggest for your to find a couples therapist anyway and attend by yourself

Customer:

swore i heard her moaning on the phone one sat and she was shocked 2 see me.. thouht i was outside w kids

Customer:

myself? what good is that

Customer:

why go by myself?

Brad The Therapist :

If you go by yourself, you can obtain more suggestions on how to handle your marriage.

Brad The Therapist :

there may be a past experience you had that your current situation with your wife is reminding you of

Brad The Therapist :

you wife may not be acutally cheating, but you still mistrust her

Customer:

ok

Brad The Therapist :

going by yourself will help you either find out more information of wheather your wife is cheating or if this is just plain coincidence

Customer:

well its not lookin good i know that

Brad The Therapist :

I'm sorry to hear that.

Brad The Therapist :

Do you have any other questions?

Customer:

thanx anyway

Customer:

no thank u

Brad The Therapist :

Did you find me helpful?

Brad The Therapist :

If so, please consider pressing the "accept" button for me to receive credit.

Brad The Therapist :

All the best!

Customer:

not really but thanx 4 your time..

Brad The Therapist :

Please tell me how I can be more of help