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DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience:  I help people overcome anxiety and enjoy life again.
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I have a court situation with a person that I had thought

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I have a court situation with a person that I had thought all along had a bipolar disorder and then thout maybe it was real bad PMS and lastly was convinced she was a sociopath, I am sure she is a sociopath and maybe her pms may be an issue although I truly believe she has boarder-line personality disorder. It's a freaking scary thing. Even her looks change. She is ruining my life with legal stuff I don't need. Her stories are so real I bet she can pass a lie detector test!
I looked over the internet and found some literature on it although was thinking there may be a list of questions or facts I can see to pin point it.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  DrFee replied 5 years ago.
DrFee :

Hello! Please remember that my response is for information only, we are not establishing a therapeutic relationship.

DrFee :

It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation.

DrFee :

Can you please tell me your relationship with this woman?

DrFee :

You through out a number of diagnoses for this woman --Bipolar, PMS (or PMDD), Antisocial personality disorder, and Borderline Personality disorder. As difficult as she may be it's not too likely that she has all of these diangoses. ;) What I get from what you are saying is that she's causing a lot of difficulty in your life!

DrFee :

I'm wondering why you want to try to diagnose her. It's difficult without the proper training, and even Psycholgists won't diagnose someone unless they see them for an evaluation. Here on Just Answer, we Experts tend to give "possibilites," but never a firm diagnosis. Does that make sense?

DrFee :

You seem to not be available, so I am switching to Q & A mode and we can continue from there ---

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
sorry. Crazy thing... Had an affarir for 3 years. now she is at war with me. Looked up some diagnosis and she seems to bee boarderline, so far.
Expert:  DrFee replied 5 years ago.

No problem --OK, if she is Borderline, then it is likely that she can be charming to strangers, manipulative to get her way, and have a poor perception (and memory) for reality.

I assume that you have no personal dealings with her anymore and just have to get through this court case?

My best advice is for you to stay as calm and unemotional as possible, so you don't escalate anything. Stick with the "facts" as you know them. Maybe print some information from the internet and give it to your lawyer.

Does she try to contact you outside of the court setting at this point?

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
She IS she can be charming to strangers, even flirtisious, manipulative to get her way without question and does have a poor perception (and memory) for reality. Also she has told me she is a "free spirtit" First two years she looked at me like I was a idol, then she started to fight over things liek "I don't even do my own shopping" or "I don't need a cleaning lady" etc, crazy shit.

I honestley loved her at one time, now I want her far away! She somehow makes people belive her lies, they run from me and I am a guy everyone wants to be around and everyone knows. I have never been with a person like this in my life! One night we are like teenage lovers the next morning am the reason for her peiod! it's crazy!
Expert:  DrFee replied 5 years ago.

It is very sad, because underneath the disorder, she is a real person (that you got to see a bit of), but the disorder makes it really difficult to maintain a relationship. People with BPD fear rejection and abandonment, and then behave in ways that can drive people away.

You might want to check out this book: Stop Walking on Eggshells... just to get some more affirmation and understanding of what you experienced. The book might also help you to develop some compassion toward her as well.

Best wishes ---

DrFee and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
What u say all makes sence. I don't know how she can go from being so loving and say "I love you with all my heart and soul" one min and the soon after going to war! OMG! I am honestly glad she is out of my life although I loved her, I can't take anymore of it, even I admit I had 2 lives, if u seen her, well. anyway.. Family of 11, born again, controlled, sister kick out at 16 and taught her to shange clothes in the ally and do drugs, got pregnant and blamed her husband, etc, list goes on.. any indicator?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
she has sliced up a wrist tattoo matching mine at one time.. anytime she has any vacation or major vacation there was a fight. vacations or trips were very improtant, anything of importance?

so tired... 2 and 3 hours sleep, I need to clear this up. She was fun. party, sex, but my wife is perfect, crazy huh..

Expert:  DrFee replied 5 years ago.

It's hard to comprehend. This behavior is called "splitting," where a person or thing is viewed as "all good," or "all bad." People with BPD tend to put others onto a pedestal, and then at the slightest perception of rejection/abandonment, the person comes crashing downward.

Stress ---it can trigger episodes. Another characteristic of BPD is the instability/difficulty regulating emotions.

DrFee and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
OMG! YES! thats her, I wish I could help, I'm done. SHE WAS ATRACTED TO ME BY " Who is that guy eveyone talks to" She always said that
Expert:  DrFee replied 5 years ago.

I am sorry for all that you have been through with her.

Don't forget my advice above --don't get emotional in front of her (you can do that later), just stay calm, give your lawyer all the information you have.

I hope that this has been helpful to you. If it has, please "Accept." Also, please feel free to put my name in the subject line if you want to interact with me in the future about this or another issue.

DrFee and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you