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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5823
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate, My boyfriend just said he doesn't want to continue our

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Kate,
My boyfriend just said he doesn't want to continue our relationshiip. He says he wants a more meaningful relationship. He doesn't want a relationship where he is treated better. I certainly am not perfect and soemtimes my anger gets displaced on him but I thought he could handle it.
I am devasted beyond belief. I am such a loser. I can't do anything right. I am so stupid and obviously demanded too much on.
I want to die. I can't take any more bad things happening to me. My life is too broken to be fixed.
I want to Die. I am not strong enough this time even if you think I do. I'm just going to put in time until my day comes to die. This way, no more hurt. I can handle the no more happiness part.
I hate what I have become. Angry. Sad. Frustrated. Anxious, Tired.
Perhaps this is all I have now. Maybe this is the best it will get for me. Maybe I was to be abused and sad. I guess God is mad at me. I'm falling about.
Kathy

Kathy,

I am sorry to hear about what happened with your boyfriend. Breakups can be devastating, and make you feel like you want to die. But if this just happened, you are going to feel pretty bad. You need to give yourself time to deal with it.

Every break up is going to cause you to mourn. That is because it is a loss, and if you have been together for a while, this will feel worse. You counted on the relationship for support and connection to someone. And when that goes away, you will feel the loss.

Learn what you can about break ups. And talk about how you feel to anyone who is supportive in your life. Here is a resource to help you:

http://helpguide.org/mental/coping_divorce_relationship_breakup.htm

You may feel very down, but this is natural. Accept that you will feel down for a while, but it will not last forever. Along with talking about how you feel, be sure to treat yourself well. Keep your diet balanced, sleep the best you can and get enough exercise. Just by exercising, you can increase your endorphines and that alone will help.

Kate

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Kate,

We had been together for 5 years. My daughter loves him too. It is so hard for us. Plus, he was such a great support for me during all my assaults. It is probably my fault as I am going through so much and it would be difficult for another person to take that journey with me. But this means I will most likely be alone for the rest of my life. Even my daughter is getting older. That means she will be moving further away from me as well.

I feel I have no direction. I know break ups are difficult, and I certainly don't mean to complain, but it just seems i get more than my fair share of bad new/things happening to me. I know I should be greatful for what I have especially my daughter but right now, i just feel very very hopeless. Without hope, what is left. I am so tired of trying so hard to make my life into something.

I don't know if I can deal with it. i finally trusted someone and then this happens. I just don't know which way to turn. My supports are minimal to say the least.

Kathy

Kathy,

It's too early to make the assumption that you will be alone the rest of your life. A break up can make you feel down, which will trigger a lot of negative emotions, including self defeating thoughts. Although it may be hard now to not globalize this experience, there will come a day when you will feel better and that is when you will understand that things will improve and you will have a chance at other relationships.

And your daughter may eventually move on physically to her own life, but that does not mean she won't still need you. Given the choice, people will reach out to their parents throughout their lives for support. When you are ill, who is the first person you think about for comfort? It's usually your mother (if your relationship was healthy, and sometimes even if it wasn't). Your daughter will feel the same about you. She will need you to be there for her all of her life.

It sounds like you are feeling lonely, which is a normal consequence to a break up. It's ok to feel this way, although it is not pleasant. But it will pass. It may help you to further develop your friendships and other relationships. Try opening yourself up to new experiences, maybe attend a group activity, or join a sport or hobby group. It may be a bit too early to cultivate a new romantic relationship, but being with others can help you heal and open you up to new experiences. It can also lift your spirits. It may also help you to feel more hopeful. It is hard to feel you have hope if your life doesn't include something to look forward to. Try to give yourself something small to look forward to every day. It will help.

Kate

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