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Ask Dr-A-Greene Your Own Question
Dr-A-Greene
Dr-A-Greene, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 309
Experience:  Clinical and Forensic Psychologist
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Hello, do you have any expertise in dealing with sociopath

Resolved Question:

Hello, do you have any expertise in dealing with sociopaths?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr-A-Greene replied 5 years ago.

Yes. I'm a forensic psychologist so my practice is made up primarily of people with Antisocial Personality Disorder - otherwise known as "sociopathy." What is your question regarding it?

 

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Is there a number I can reach you at? Candice XXX-XXX-XXXX

Expert:  Dr-A-Greene replied 5 years ago.

Hi Candice,

don't give out my number or do counseling by phone, I'm sorry. I just answer questions via the internet. I can re-list the question so that someone else might be able to call you if you're uncomfortable responding in this format.

Thanks,

Dr. G.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hi, since you are unable to call me, this is very long to type, but basically a sociopath owes me money and I just separated from him telling him I need time. What is the best way to attempt to get my money back? I'm concerned if I confront him and let him know that I know that he lied about his life/identify that he will disappear off the grid. Should I pretend I don't know he lied and try to amicably get my money back? I'm concerned that threatening him that I will call the police will also make him disappear off the grid. How many exchange over email can we have for the price that I paid?

Thank you.

Candice

Expert:  Dr-A-Greene replied 5 years ago.

As many as you want! We can go back and forth until you feel the question is answered.

Okay - well there are several factors at work here. If he is truly sociopathic, it is unlikely that he will pay you back of his own accord. He will likely need some sort of prodding. This may be done amicably though. If you think that you can remain nice to him and get it from him that way, I would. Possibly enticing him with the promise of more of something he wants might do the trick. It doesn't mean you have to deliver, of course - but some leverage is always good.

If that doesn't do the trick you could go through the authorities, but I think that you're right that he might disappear. Does he have a habit of doing that?

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
What type of language works best with sociopaths so that I can try to have him remain calm, let him know that I need space and try to get my money back? What words should I use? What is the best way to talk to them? I know now that he lies about everything. He has no current employment, address and receives his mail at a PO box, so I fear he may just disappear.
Expert:  Dr-A-Greene replied 5 years ago.

I would try to placate his ego. Make him feel comfortable by telling him good things about himself. Sociopaths are narcissistic by nature so he will want to be made to feel as though he is adored.

Also, communicating that you need space may not be the best idea until you get your money back. You may want to try to do that first.

However, if the situation is dangerous for you or your loved ones then the best idea might be to cut all ties. I don't want you to put yourself in a bad position.

 

 

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

ok thank you.

 

Are there any phrases or words that you can recommend that I use?

 

I was thinking of telling him that I want him to repay me first before we continue in our relationship in order for me to regain his trust?

 

 

Expert:  Dr-A-Greene replied 5 years ago.
I think another expert may be answering, but your proposed solution sounds brilliant, actually!
Expert:  Dr-A-Greene replied 5 years ago.
Additionally, without knowing him I can't recommend any specific phrases - just be straightforward and stick to your plan (to avoid any manipulation on his part).
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