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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5808
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate: It was seriously fine that T said it. I dont think

Customer Question

Kate:

It was seriously fine that T said it. I don’t think I must have explained the dynamic very well. The point I was making is that the fact that it stung indicates, I think: (1) that I am more aware of this issue; and (2) that others notice it, too, and apparently don’t think it is some hidden secret.

C is coming into the office tomorrow. He said something about it yesterday, and was asking how things were going. So I know I’m going to get a lot of questions tomorrow. I don’t want to explain to him what has been going on or my therapy issues or the flashbacks or anything. I don’t want to be rude – because he was nice and listened to my whole story, and he was the one who referred me to the counseling center where I got hooked up with Linda. But I don’t want to get into it with him. Truth is, now that I do not have any weekly responsibilities, I really am tempted to stay away from church for a while. I know I should be leaning more on Him and not less, but also, it’s church I want to avoid - not God. I feel so much like I have to be on alert. It’s tiring. I just want to skip it for a few weeks, but I also don’t want anyone calling me about it.

I don’t really feel like being around many people while I work this stuff through. Is that reasonable? I have to work, but I have a choice in other things. So don’t you think it would be okay if I just stay away from most everyone else until I am in a better place?

I don’t feel like going to my session with Linda today. I don’t feel like there is much to talk about right now. I feel like the hour or so would be better spent sitting in my car crying. Or sleeping. I don’t want to explain to her what all went on with the flashback on Thursday night. Does it matter? Do you think it would be okay if I just went in and asked her to do the talking?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Shay,

 

You do not have to make an excuse for any choice you make regarding attending church. God understands what you are going through. And going to church does not change your faith. Church is there so you can get a boost in your faith and have others to share your faith with. But just because you take a break doesn't mean anything.

 

You also do not have to tell C anything either. Letting him know that you are going through a rough time and need a break is good enough. He may want to know more but that is ok. You can respond in generalities if you need to. As long as you are kind yet firm about it, you are fine telling him nothing but that you don't want to talk about it.

 

It is fine that you don't want to be around people. Everyone needs time to recover and that sometimes means that you need time alone to think things through. And spending this time focused on yourself is a great way to heal. You will reach out if you need someone so it's not like you are isolating yourself.

 

Having Linda talk through therapy is ok, but you might not benefit at all and might as well not go. You may want to tell her that you don't have anything to talk about and see what she says. Or cancel all together if you feel rest would be more beneficial.

 

Kate

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Okay. I'll see how I feel about going to my session in an hour or so, then maybe call to cancel. I'm usually the last appointment of the day, so it's not like it will waste her time. She can just end her day a little earlier. At this point, I might benefit more by getting work done, too.

 

You're right -- I don't owe C any info. he knows I need a break and generally why. I don't have a duty to share everything with him just because he listened to almost my whole stupid story, right?

 

 

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I decided to go ahead and go to my session. Mostly because I lost track of time and it's not fair to cancel this late. But also ecause she forgot my file at my last appointment and said she had some other stuff she wanted to go over with me (ideas). So she'll probably do most of the talking like last time anyway. Also, I think Thursday may be our last appointment for a few weeks.
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

You have no obligation to C at all. Just because you share your story and he helped you some does not make you in his debt to the point that you have to tell him every little detail if he wants to know. Plus you serve on the praise team, which helps him, right?

 

Let me know how your appointment goes with Linda.

 

Kate

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Ok.
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.
Good night, Shay! Sleep well