Thank you for writing in here. I'll take over your question as it's relisted.
I'm sorry to hear about your husband's situation.
This is a very difficult situation for you and your husband as he has been under enormous stress
from work and the original family issues.
It sounds like he was feeling betrayed (is betrayed) by his company and family of origin. His bosses didn't reward his work as they promised (I'm not sure as to whether there is a contract between his company and him). His brother and sister took over his mother's asset after his mother passed away.
I can imagine how sad
, angry and anxious this situation must seem to your husband.
His drinking, screaming, and panic attacks are indicative of depression and anxiety
He may be falling into crisis now.
His condition is causing lots of stress in your marriage as you may be at loss of what to do with his pain.
Yes, it's important for you to take care of yourself as you are doing.
But, YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS HELP AND SUPPORT now.
Good news is, he is willing to see a psychotherapist.
He is aware of his depression and anxiety.
Perhaps, he may start working with a psychotherapist individually a few times.
Then you and he may start working with a marriage counselor if his behavior still cause stress in your marriage.
So, first of all, I would advise him to see a psychotherapist to express and process his feelings and thoughts and get advice and support WEEKLY. A combination of psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy are considered to be effective to treat Depression and anxiety. Cognitive-behvaior therapy (CBT) will work for depression and anxiety.
He may ask his doctor for a psychologist/psychotherapist that he can work with weekly. Or he may call his insurance company and get a list of providers (licensed psychologists or psychotherapists) in his area.
Or, he can search a licensed psychologist on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764) and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as Depression. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she specializes in Cognitive-behavior therapy and Depression. You may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that he wants to work with – Male or female? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So he can see it as an informational meeting. he can ask any question and negotiate psychotherapy fee.
If he has no health insurance or seek a low fee counseling, he may call The United Way toll free # 211 (Dial 2-1-1)to find the community mental health centers in your area in which he can get counseling even without health insurance.
Also, a heart-healthy diet like Omega 3 fatty acid may improve his brain functioning and mood. Focus on fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Choose low-fat protein sources, such as fish, lean meat and skinless poultry. Hydrate yourself during daytime. Get plenty of calcium and vitamin D in food or supplements.
Physical activity increases blood flow to your whole body, including his brain. This may help improve his mood.
Other recommendations for your husband are:
Avoid excess use of alcohol and drugs.
Sleep in complete darkness and try to be out in bright light during the day.
Spend time in nature weekly
Try to have pleasurable activities with friends and family.
Choose to listen to sounds that have positive effects on his mood.
I hope your husband overcomes this crisis in his mid-life and gets well with all available help.
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,