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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5809
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Resolved Question:

Sorry. Just feeling sorry for myself.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
Hi, this is Howard,

How come?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Sorry - I had kind of an ongoing dialogue with Kate McCoy. I had posted something to her, but then deleted it because I was just feeling sorry for used at the time I posted it.
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
No problem.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
But thank you!
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi Shay,


I hope everything is ok with you. I saw your request and thought that maybe something might have happened with Linda.


How are you doing?


I will be out this morning but if you can talk, I will be back in a few hours.



Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hey Kate. Not doing well. Yesterday went fine with Linda. Uneventful. She had a bunch to say, which wa good, because I didn't really wan to talk. I was just feeling really depressed when I got home. But I was just feeling sorry for myself. But then later last night I ended up having a flashback. I don't know what set it off. I was just brushing my teeth. But I felt really light headed, so I kind of slid down to the floor and had a really bad one. And I hit my head on something, which I think is what brought me out of it. I was so upset. P came in looking for me and I couldn't stop crying. She ended up calling Linda to see if she could give me one of her Ativan to calm me down, but neither knew, considering my other meds. I didn't want her to call dr m's on call number. I was so tired. When I got up I just went to bed. I didn't want to talk to Linda. I guess she and p talked a few times. I slept terribly last night. Had a nightmare. P slept with me so woke me up right away. I didn't even try to use the mask last night. I feel like hell this morning. My head and my whole body hurts and I'm exhausted. I'm embarrassed about what happened and that I'm sure I was acting pathetic, and that p had to call Linda. I guess I'll call her today and tell her I'm fine. I really wish I could stay home today. But I can't. I guess I don't want to just sit around here anyway. oh well. I'm sure I will feel better after I've been up for a while. S
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Oh my, Shay, I am sorry to hear what you have been going through. That is horrible.


It sounds like whatever you had been feeling during the day might have set off the flashback. Most feelings like depression are thought based (though some can be body chemistry, though in your case I don't believe that to be true) and although you may not be aware of your thoughts, that is what brings you down. It can trigger things like flashbacks if you are thinking anything related to what you went through.


You mentioned feeling sorry for yourself. Was it about what you have been through in the past or the work you are doing now?


I wonder if part of what you were experiencing is the result of the reaction you had from D when you told her about what happened to you. She was compassionate and caring. You mentioned many times that you felt very supported and maybe a little taken back by her reaction (pleasantly surprised, maybe?). Sometimes when a person shares something so deep and gets such a wonderfully warm response, it can trigger feelings around how traumatizing the event really was. People do not typically react with such support unless the situation was bad, so in the back of your mind it may have triggered your depression over it. Also, you have been going through a lot lately with the flashbacks, telling D, the situation over Linda (though it turned out, it was still very stressful) and your recovery in general. Your strength may be down and therefore your ability to cope as well as usual.


You also experienced a very good insight recently with your feelings of self blame around the attack. I'm not sure that you were aware of how huge that was for you. Before you really accepted what you had been through, you were thoroughly convinced this was your fault. Your defenses were very high and you had many arguments against any thought that you could not be at fault. That takes an enormous amount of energy to defend. Just the fact that you let go of those beliefs can open a new door to other feelings. And it can change your perspective so you now see the reality of the situation more than you did before, triggering strong feelings of depression.


I know you feel embarrassed about what happened to you last night, but P and Linda want nothing more than to help. You went through something absolutely horrifying and your needs are understandable. This is your time to recover, Shay. All of us have times like these in our lives, where we need others to support us and help us through. God is not going to put all these wonderfully compassionate people in your life and not allow them to be used in important ways. He made this to be your time, with the right people, right circumstances to help you through. He knows what you need and will provide you with it. And I think what you experienced is normal. You had a flashback and got upset, so what? How awful that Linda and P had to talk to figure out a solution to help you. I bet they both felt so put out! You have needs Shay, there is no shame in that. You would be there for either of them wouldn't you?



TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5809
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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