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Ask TherapistMarryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5808
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Hi Kate. I hope things are going well for you. I have decided

Resolved Question:

Hi Kate. I hope things are going well for you.

I have decided to take a break from JA. Probably just a small period of time. I really feel that I am wasting your time complaining about this and that.

I've read some of the other [psts you have been sent by people you have helped and to me they seem to really have much more involved issues and they are able to communicate themselves to you better and clearer than I am.

I wish I could be clearer. I wish I could explain myself better but I am so confused right now that I think it is impossible to communicate mself to you better. I do try though.

I just feel so awful about so many things and feel so overly overwhelmed right now. I have no idea what direction I am going. I am though very tired of fighting. Maybe I am a quitter. I'm not sure if I am or not.

Anyway, thank you so much for all your wonderful support and help. There have been times where if I hadn't writen you, I would not have been able to make sense of things and go on with my day. I'll be back eventually and hopefully you will still want to help me.

Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.



I understand and it's ok. Sometimes taking a break can help. I do feel that your issues are important and that you communicate them well. And when you feel ready to talk again, I would like to be here for you.


Please take care,



Customer: replied 5 years ago.



You surprised me. I thought your response would be much different.


I don't know if the break will help or make things worse. All I know, is that I am a very confused and sad person right now who feels she is alone. Maybe I'm not but it is how I sincerely feel.


I feel like I am shutting down. I don't understand it at all. I don't what to do or where to turn. Everything is so fuzzy and I can't see where I'm going...that is if I am actually going somewhere.


Thanks Kate,



Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi Kathy,


I wanted to support your decision. Trying to convince you to keep working with me would only go against letting you make your own decisions based on what you feel is good for you. And you still have your regular therapist, which does not leave you unsupported.


Do you want to keep working together? Your post indicates that you might want to. Let me know before I post an answer. I don't want Just Answer to charge you if you were still not interested in staying on JA.



Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hi Kate.


I don't mind being charged if you think you have something to add to my previous text on how I feel right now (things feeling fuzzy, etc.).


Right now, I just don't know what to do. When I figure it out with some hard thinking, I will share it with you. Is this fair of me to do?



Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.



Sure, it is fine to share anything you need to. I'm here to help.


I think support is very important for you right now. It is hard when you are working through a number of traumas, including dealing with your ex. It brings up a lot of feelings and makes it difficult to get through the day.


Wanting to shut down is a defense against all that you have been through. It is a way to say that you have had enough and that things feel too overwhelming. And it might be a good idea, for a short time. When you have had too many things to cope with at once, taking time to turn it all off and get away is good. It can give your emotions a break.


One way you can shut down is by focusing on intellectualizing everything. That doesn't mean you won't feel things, but instead you focus on keeping your reaction to your thoughts and not focusing on your feelings. So when you feel upset about something, do something intellectual. Read a technical manual (maybe something in your field of study), listen to a lecture or figure out a puzzle. By focusing intellectually, you feel calmer. Just be sure to do this only for a break. Using this technique all the time can be harmful by keeping you away from your feelings through repression.


You can also take a break by getting away for a while, even just a day or two. It changes your perspective and gives you less reminders of the trauma you have been through.


Most of all, be sure to keep taking care of yourself. The more you sleep and eat well, the better energy you will have to deal with how you feel.



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