I moved to ca ,and am temporaily seperated from my spouse of…

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Dear friend,

This is a difficult question to answer with so few details to go on.

The ideal outcome, for you, would be that your spouse quits his job, comes to California to join you, and finds a job to replace the one he has, unless he is involved in his own career and just cannot displace himself and hope to be as well off or content in a new place, especially if he was unemployed.

If you give up your dream and go home you will be defeated and this will burden your relationship.

If you stay separated you may drift apart.

You might not have to make a choice between marriage and career, but if you did, you should pick the one that will bring you the most fulfillment in the long run.

You must also consider leaving family and friends.

The best way to figure this out is to make a list of the pros and cons of staying in California. The act of writing them out is therapeutic and will help you in the decision making process, especially when you see all of the points together.

I am sure that you have had these discussions with him, and perhaps, together, you can figure this out.

This is a tough one because we don't like to abandon our dreams, nor do we wish to abandon our mates.,

Make that list and study it, until the answer comes to you. It will. If you need me to further help you by bouncing some ideas off of me, feel free to allow me to follow up this question.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC