How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Heidi LPC Your Own Question
Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 278
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
65628425
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Heidi LPC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Im 40 years old, living back at home, have never been

Customer Question

im 40 years old, living back at home, have never been married and have no children, i have a stressful job and although i have friends as such they are settled and married, i dont seem to be able to hold a relationship, i have problems loving/liking myself and never seem to be happy, i worry about the past and things i did, and have had a relationship with alcohol which can make me nasty at times, i cant seem to move on from my last relationship and worry about losing my mother all of the time she is 77 and im living back at home, ive turned into a bit of a recluse, and would love to turn my life around
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Heidi LPC replied 5 years ago.
Heidi LPC :

Good Morning... I hope to be of some assistance to you here today! Your question is one that is fairly common; an evaluation of your life at the midlife point, an analysis of where you've been and where you are going, and a crossroads in which you have to decide which path to take.

Heidi LPC :

I hear that you have some worries and stress, and some self-confidence issues, and this has probably affected your relationships. These are things that result from something called self-talk. We all talk to ourselves, in our minds, all day long. We can either be critics of ourselves... or our own biggest fans. We can be supportive of our own efforts, or we can tear ourselves down. We can think, "I am a failure" or "I am an imperfect human, just like all the rest; yet I refuse to be a victim of my own choices and will begin to look at all the things that I AM, rather than all the things I am yet to become." Turning our attention... sliding the screen in our mind to the next thought, re-phrasing things, re-framing our thoughts to a more positive description... these are the hands-on, necessary steps to starting to think and feel more positively about ourselves.

Heidi LPC :

People are attracted to positive energy, and generally more repelled by negativity and stress and worry. Working to eliminate the focus on the things you cannot control and focusing on what you can makes a person more attractive to others. It is a choice; a simple choice. Focus on what is good, both in thought and in speech... and you will see a difference. It takes practice, and you will backslide at times, but make this your primary goal to begin with.

Heidi LPC :

Next, start exercising, if you aren't now. The chemicals that get released, endorphins, when you work-out are stress-relieving... and create feelings of well-being in the body. And hugs work well, too!! Get as many as you can!!

Heidi LPC :

Finally, we cannot change anything about the past, nor the inevitabilities of the future. We can only live for today. Stay here in this moment. Absorb the view from where you are and show gratitude for all you DO have... not thinking ahead to what might happen tomorrow. Be here, now. If you want to change something, change it... take a new approach. But, as the saying goes, 'it is what it is', and life isn't always meant to be understood, but certainly enjoyed... as there are never any guarantees about tomorrow!

Heidi LPC :

As you are offline, I will await your reply or further questions! I hope you found my answers somewhat helpful, and I wish you a good day ahead!! :-)

Customer:

hello heidi,

Customer:

thank you for this, i have just seen this information so apologies for the delay in replying.

Heidi LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Heidi LPC replied 5 years ago.
It is my pleasure; if you have any further questions or want to follow-up, this chat will remain in the "my questions" tab at the top of your screen so that you can access it, or me, again anytime! I wish you the very best as you set new goals for yourself and move forward!! :-)