Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online
Good Morning... I hope to be of some assistance to you here today! Your question is one that is fairly common; an evaluation of your life at the midlife point, an analysis of where you've been and where you are going, and a crossroads in which you have to decide which path to take.
I hear that you have some worries and stress, and some self-confidence issues, and this has probably affected your relationships. These are things that result from something called self-talk. We all talk to ourselves, in our minds, all day long. We can either be critics of ourselves... or our own biggest fans. We can be supportive of our own efforts, or we can tear ourselves down. We can think, "I am a failure" or "I am an imperfect human, just like all the rest; yet I refuse to be a victim of my own choices and will begin to look at all the things that I AM, rather than all the things I am yet to become." Turning our attention... sliding the screen in our mind to the next thought, re-phrasing things, re-framing our thoughts to a more positive description... these are the hands-on, necessary steps to starting to think and feel more positively about ourselves.
People are attracted to positive energy, and generally more repelled by negativity and stress and worry. Working to eliminate the focus on the things you cannot control and focusing on what you can makes a person more attractive to others. It is a choice; a simple choice. Focus on what is good, both in thought and in speech... and you will see a difference. It takes practice, and you will backslide at times, but make this your primary goal to begin with.
Next, start exercising, if you aren't now. The chemicals that get released, endorphins, when you work-out are stress-relieving... and create feelings of well-being in the body. And hugs work well, too!! Get as many as you can!!
Finally, we cannot change anything about the past, nor the inevitabilities of the future. We can only live for today. Stay here in this moment. Absorb the view from where you are and show gratitude for all you DO have... not thinking ahead to what might happen tomorrow. Be here, now. If you want to change something, change it... take a new approach. But, as the saying goes, 'it is what it is', and life isn't always meant to be understood, but certainly enjoyed... as there are never any guarantees about tomorrow!
As you are offline, I will await your reply or further questions! I hope you found my answers somewhat helpful, and I wish you a good day ahead!! :-)
thank you for this, i have just seen this information so apologies for the delay in replying.