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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5838
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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This is for Kate McCoy. At work we have a night supervisor

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This is for Kate McCoy. Hello. At work we have a night supervisor with no people skills and a history of harassing people. He is a big bully and always has to have an issue with someone. One night I heard the night supervisor run me down to another co worker, calling me bad names like stupid. I did not hear my name in conversation but felt strongly he was talking about me. The other co worker was standing there knowing I heard him say that. When I saw the night supervisor coming to the back room he had his head down when I was looking at him. Later I did a terrible thing I told him off as he was walking toward me. I did not know the same coworker he ran me down to heard me swear to him but the night supervisor did nothing. Another instance he gave a nasty email to my friend and coworker saying bad words about him and then he later apologized. I was still bothered by this as I swore at him again from a further distance and as I got closer to him repeated the bad word he called my coworker and friend. Surprisingly he did nothing and suprisingly walked away. I realize I should not of interfered into someone elses business. My coworkers problems with him are not my own. I do not want to tell him off again as my mom said if I run him or someone else down, that makes me look just as bad as him and I do not want to have a bad personality trait. When I come home I still think too much about work and him which is stressful. My life is not much better than his. The only friend he has is his manager. When other coworkers take a liking to me he seems to get jealous and has said to a few coworkers dont be friends with him and he runs me down. Again I did not hear my name in conversation but feel strongly he was talking about me. When I hear the night supervisor bad mouth me as I walk by or to another co worker, what is the best way to handle this namecalling? My mom says to ignore him and once he sees he is not getting to me with this namecalling he will move onto someone else. He would like for me to talk back and argue with him she said because then he knows he is agitating me. Any Survival Tips you can give me so I can survive 8 or 9 hours working with night supervisor. I was told from a trusted source no one likes him as a person on the night shift. I still feel he is sore that I reported him to the cowner of the store but had to as he said terrible things to me and later I dropped the harassement charges as I feel everyone deserves a second chance but this guy gets too many chances as everyone else is afraid to report this bully . He ran down the coworker who heard me tell him off one night and hit him in the back but that coworker did nothing as he is afraid of him. The night supervisor has never had a problem with my work, and knows I am not afraid of him. I want to change my attitude of him at work as I do not want to fight with him as I do not want the extra stress at work. I feel I may still hold a grudge against him since he harassed me a couple of times but I must try to let it go and move on. Just because his life sucks does not mean he should take it out on someone else. I do not want to lower myself to his standards but I am afraid I have a few times by slipping up. The other co workers are not fighting or arguing with him, even when he is disrespectful to them. I must try not to argue or fight with him in the workplace.

Thank you.

Hello! Thank you for the request.

It is very difficult to deal with a supervisor who has an agenda. They bring their personal issues to work and take them out on those who cannot fight back easily, the workers. This can cause a lot of stress in the work environment and affect everyone. Signs of stress include anxiety, trouble concentrating, worry, trouble with your appetite and/or sleep. It can also affect your work, making you not want to go to work and cause you to withdrawal socially.

Your first reaction is to fight back. That is very normal. No one wants to feel picked on and undermined in their work. But keep in mind, just because you feel these things does not mean you should act on them. The consequences are not worth it. And the chances that any backlash from you will stop your supervisor from being mean to you is nil. It may actually make it worse because now you will be his target.

It is hard but the best way to respond is to not give him the satisfaction of a reaction. The best way to "get back" is to act like your job makes you happy. Smile, greet everyone with kindness and put your nose to the grindstone and work hard. Chances are, your reputation in the company will improve and everyone will see you as an excellent worker. That helps you in the long run because one, the bad supervisor won't be able to speak against you and two, if you ever need to move on you will have great references and won't need this supervisors input.

You may also want to start getting your resume and references together, just in case. It always good to keep your eyes open for a new job. Make contacts, search ads and talk to others about your goals. That way, if things get worse at your job you already are set up to leave as fast as possible.

If things do not improve or get worse, you may want to consider talking to Human Resources, particularly if your supervisor is friends with his boss. You won't get anywhere with him if he is already on your supervisor's side. But Human Resources will need to address any concerns you have. Also, you can contact the EEOC if you ever feel you need to file charges for a violation of your rights. Here is a link:

In the meanwhile, try to keep yourself as calm as possible. You can learn ways to relax at work and at home so you feel more calm and centered. It will also help you think clearer if you are not agitated. Here is a resource to help you learn about stress and how to address it:

I hope this has helped you,

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