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It has been a while since my last post to you. I do need

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Hi Dr. Michael, It has been...
Hi Dr. Michael,
It has been a while since my last post to you. I do need this correspondence with you for my own "mental health". Although things in my husband's and my lives are crazier than ever, I do feel a peace and feel that things are on the right track.
As far as my husband and the issues I recently discussed with you....I am so proud of him! He knew that he could not jeopordize "saving" his twelve year old daughter in any way and made the commitment to clean himself up. Although he's been a pain in the butt, he has not given in to that commitment. I actually snapped the other day because I was under so much stress and I felt that in the last two months he has not listened to me when I attempt to express my feelings. I made myself heard by blowing his phone up with text messages while he was at work. I pushed him as far as I could. My technique probably could use some work, but the next day he was kind and sweet and truly listened to me (Remember my pending Book, "Please Pass the Peas). The cool thing was he didn't resort to any vice because of our horrible argument. He said he had no desire to do so. His priorities are definitely in order.
Meanwhile he has been attacked in every way by his evil ex-wife. We are both very concerned about his daughter. It does appear that her personality disorder is very severe. The things she and her shadey Lawyer are doing are crazy. The Just Answer Lawyer we have been in contact with has helped us with the motion to enforce psychiatric evaluations of both parties. Do you think he should include in the motion examples of her projection indicating they are possible signs of a personality disorder?
I know I have expressed that my husband has relied on me to help him with his legal paperwork. I actually don't mind, because I too want to do everything possible to recieve custody of this little girl. I love her like she's my own. I actually was able to turn my case with my evil ex over to hopefully my final Attorney and Forensic expert. What a relief! Now, I have so much time on my hands, ha ha.
So to update: Head-lice is gone; my 52 year old ex still has his 30 year old girl-friend with her 9 month old illigitimate baby; my 17 year old son has an adorable girlfriend but is adament he does not want to have an illigitimate baby; my 9 year old son thinks his dad is a "poop off" and wishes his step-dad was his real dad. He also thinks his step-sister's mom is a "poop off" and wants his sister to live with us forever; my husband is drrug free and looks and acts very healthy; I'm in late stages of menopause; I was told by my lastest Attorney it appears I have a major settlement coming my way.....
Can't wait for that vacation!!!!!!!!
Submitted: 5 years ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 5 hours by:
3/24/2012
Mental Health Professional: Camille-Mod,
 replied 5 years ago
Camille-Mod
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 12
Experience: Cat Mod at Just Answer
Verified

Hi, I am a Moderator with Just Answer, I have Emailed your Expert so that when he comes back on line he will see your question. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience:-)

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Mental Health Professional: Camille-Mod,
 replied 5 years ago

I wonder whether you’re still waiting for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will do my best to find an Expert to assist you right away. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you. Thank you!

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Customer reply replied 5 years ago
I'm willing to wait for Dr. Michael's response. He has made it clear that he is not always on line.
Mental Health Professional: Camille-Mod,
 replied 5 years ago
Thank you very much for your patience :-)
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Mental Health Professional: Dr. Michael, Psychologist replied 5 years ago
Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2,177
Experience: Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
Verified
Great to hear from you. I've been away for quite a few days but am checking back in at this time.

You are obviously handling yourself quite well in this situation! You refer to the psychological testing:

Do you think he should include in the motion examples of her projection indicating they are possible signs of a personality disorder?

Yes, this is probably the most obvious diagnosis. You can ask that formal objective personality assessment procedures be used, particularly for conditions such as mood disorders, anxiety disorder and personality disorder. It doesn't really matter what the testing outcome is because frankly, it is very hard to show that particular disorders directly lead to or cause inadequate parenting. And it is the latter that would have to be demonstrated by facts, data, evaluation. It is also tough to evaluate inadequate parenting through testing of a parent; this is mostly done through police reports, social service reports, testimony of friends, neighbors, etc. What you mostly want to accomplish is the pressure to have the evaluations done for their own sake, i.e., she doesn't want to do it under any circumstance and she make concessions before she agrees.

let me know if I'm overlooking anything..............

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Customer reply replied 5 years ago

Dr. Michael,

You have kept me on the right track so immediate responses are not necessary. You have said all along that it is necessary to keep applying pressure because she will do anything to keep from being psychiatricly evaluated and being convicted in Court of doing something wrong. Her actions have been so desperate of late which that alone is enough to show the court that she is not acting in the best interest of the child. She has manipulated lawyers into engaging in unethical legal actions in order to deceive my husband. Before they know it, they are in over their head and they bail on her. She has created quiet an army of enemies for herself, and they are all Lawyers!

I think what has been confusing in all this, is that although my husband's ex and my ex both have personality disorders with similarities, they need to be treated differently. It appears my husband's ex knows she did something wrong and knows she's crazy, and will do anything to keep that from being confirmed. My ex on the otherhand is NPD/Antisocial Disorder. He has no conscience, no fear, and believes he can do no wrong. He actually enjoys the fight because he always wins in his mind. Where pressure is important to force my husband's ex to cave, the opposite is true with my ex. I have to be an actress and let him believe he won so he can be off guard and really mess up. You pointed this out to me when I first started communicating with you. I took your advice and did not give him the heads up that I hired an Attorney and Forensic specialist. I acted like everything was fine and like I gave up. He went absolutely wild and did me a lot of favors. He just received notice I have a new legal team, and he now has 30 days to try to clean up his mess. Good luck.....

I feel like my life is a psychology class! It is all pretty interesting, and once you know how to deal with these "special" people it really isn't that difficult. You have really helped both my husband and me. I just wanted to give you that feedback. I hope I'm on the right track. Thanks!

Mental Health Professional: Dr. Michael, Psychologist replied 5 years ago
I do think you are in a position to teach others about how to handle situations like this. I'm very glad to help and hope you'll keep me posted. Thanks.
Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2,177
Experience: Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
Verified
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Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2,177
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Experience: Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

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