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Answered in 30 minutes by:
3/15/2012
Karyn Jones, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,716
Experience: Diploma of Counselling and Transactional Analysis Counselling, Lifeline counselling, Pastoral Care.
VerifiedHello and thank you for bringing your concerns to Just Answer...and I truly feel for your delemma not an easy place to be in for you both and your relationship to say the very least extremely stressful..
Being in the field suggests to me that you already have much' insight into your girlfriends long standing addiction to gambling..and have also tried to no a vale to be very fair and pro-active in attemptiong to help her to break free of this..
Ultimately, though ( and with my experience of these difficult cases in the past with my own clients) it seems that she is 'hooked' in by way of a 'complusion' to feed this addiction.
This suggests to me that a much deeper issue lays at the root of the problem where only counseling and time spent exploring these roots will help her to break it once and for all..
I sincerely ***** ***** she hasn't ( as yet) reached that point in her life where she really wants to 'face' the 'driving force behind it...or doesn't fully realize what is really at stake here..( Her job,income,relationship/others) or that she does but it has gone beyond that and she has now lost 'all sense of control...
To be completly honest with you ( and as difficult and painful as it might be for you both)
I would suggest a separation in order for her to actually 'see' that you aren't going to tolorate her addiction any more and that its essential that she seeks EAP counseling as suggested in order for her to discover the in depth need or inner subconcious 'drivers' she has to gamble and to recover in time through regular therapy sessions..
This is the only way she will break the habit...You could discuss this with her and say that while separated.. once you know that she no longer has a desire to feed this 'self destructive' complusion you could re-assess your relationship again and take things from there..While she currently sees' that you and others are willing to tolerate this she won't make a move to change things..Underneath it all this is a deeper cry for help form the inside and that's what she needs..Professional help..
I sincerely ***** ***** my response has proved of help to you..in the meantime do take very good 'self' care right now ..and I know it won't be an easy decision to make for you..but it would force her to see' that 'enough is enough and help is available for her..If she truly cares she will seek it..This is her way of punishing 'self' sadly though she is also punishing you and your relationship/others..
Please 'accept' my response if its of help to you as it does contribute much' by way of keeping our service going in the future...
Kind thoughts
Warmest wishes
Karyn J
Being in the field suggests to me that you already have much' insight into your girlfriends long standing addiction to gambling..and have also tried to no a vale to be very fair and pro-active in attemptiong to help her to break free of this..
Ultimately, though ( and with my experience of these difficult cases in the past with my own clients) it seems that she is 'hooked' in by way of a 'complusion' to feed this addiction.
This suggests to me that a much deeper issue lays at the root of the problem where only counseling and time spent exploring these roots will help her to break it once and for all..
I sincerely ***** ***** she hasn't ( as yet) reached that point in her life where she really wants to 'face' the 'driving force behind it...or doesn't fully realize what is really at stake here..( Her job,income,relationship/others) or that she does but it has gone beyond that and she has now lost 'all sense of control...
To be completly honest with you ( and as difficult and painful as it might be for you both)
I would suggest a separation in order for her to actually 'see' that you aren't going to tolorate her addiction any more and that its essential that she seeks EAP counseling as suggested in order for her to discover the in depth need or inner subconcious 'drivers' she has to gamble and to recover in time through regular therapy sessions..
This is the only way she will break the habit...You could discuss this with her and say that while separated.. once you know that she no longer has a desire to feed this 'self destructive' complusion you could re-assess your relationship again and take things from there..While she currently sees' that you and others are willing to tolerate this she won't make a move to change things..Underneath it all this is a deeper cry for help form the inside and that's what she needs..Professional help..
I sincerely ***** ***** my response has proved of help to you..in the meantime do take very good 'self' care right now ..and I know it won't be an easy decision to make for you..but it would force her to see' that 'enough is enough and help is available for her..If she truly cares she will seek it..This is her way of punishing 'self' sadly though she is also punishing you and your relationship/others..
Please 'accept' my response if its of help to you as it does contribute much' by way of keeping our service going in the future...
Kind thoughts
Warmest wishes
Karyn J
Karyn Jones, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,716
Experience: Diploma of Counselling and Transactional Analysis Counselling, Lifeline counselling, Pastoral Care.
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