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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3497
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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Im haveing a tough time getting my life back together after

Resolved Question:

Im haveing a tough time getting my life back together after a bad breakup. I am having trouble working an functioning in general. I feel like I am pulling away from people. Do you haave any suggestions to help me out of this?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
CoachJenK :

Hi, Let's talk

CoachJenK :

Tell me a bit more about what is going on. When was the break up how long together?

Customer: Two weeks ago and there was an abortion involved. So i am feeling a huge loss
Customer: We were together a yeat
CoachJenK :

Fist off. I am so sorry and it is a huge loss that needs to be processed and acknowledged. Did the break up occur beciase of the pregnancy or abortion?

Customer: no but i think it put stress on the relationship
CoachJenK :

and the abortion was wanted by both of you? Im asking a lot of questions so I can get a better picture of all that is going on for you.

Customer: It happened early in the relationship within the first month so it was mostly for him. I would have kept it so i have been irrational and sad for almost a year
CoachJenK :

ok, lets remove the negative judgment of you being irrational because it is absolutely rational to mourn that loss especially since you did it for him. I imagine that if you are using that negative word it most likely came from him? You have every right to feel sad and the loss around this.

CoachJenK :

our goal though is to get you to feel what you feel around it but not hae it continue to affect your daily functioning and that is what I want for you.

Customer: yes it was mostly for him. Im just not sure how to move forward now
CoachJenK :

you mentioned being on antidepressants. who has prescribed them for you? Are you in any counseling?

Customer: When it first happened i tried some concelling. I was still feeling sad a month ago so i went to the doctor and he prescribed them.
CoachJenK :

ok. I would like to suggest now that you get back into some counseling because you need some consistent support around these two losses. doesnt have to be long term but something to get you through this space. I think part of the issue is that you have some internal thinking that is hurting you...meaning that somehow you don't feel you should be feeling this much loss around the abortion and now the ending of this relationship. I say that because you mentioned above that these feelings are irrational. The are absolutely NOT irrational and you need a safe place to feel these feelings.

CoachJenK :

This is the reason I feel you are not able to function well because they are locked inside you without an outlet and you have a judgment about having these feelings at all.

Customer: ok i will try some concelling again. Do you think i should stay on the antidpressants for now
CoachJenK :

yes I think they can help. do you feel any benefit yet? Can be early. where in Canada are you located so I can see if I can find a therapist there.

Customer: Im in toronto. I have not felt any benefits yet as i just started them
CoachJenK :

ok give them some time and please dont stop anti depressants cold turkey always do that with the help of your doc but please give it some time. Give me on minute to see if I can find someone in toronto.

Customer: Ok
CoachJenK :

dont go anywhere. stil llooking

Customer: Ok
CoachJenK :

CoachJenK :

She is a woman. would you also like the name of a man so you can call both and see what fits for you?

Customer: no that helps. Thanks
CoachJenK :

ok. please know that your feelings are rational and NOT irrational. You can always come back and ask for me at anytime and I will be here to support you. please click accept if our time was helpful. I am here for you and you deserve to live a happy and full life.

Customer: Thanks
CoachJenK :

my pleasure

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