Hi Dr. Michael,
I appreciate so much the help you have given my husband and me on our ex spouses' personality disorders. Now I am asking for some help for myself:
My husband and I have been married for over 2 years and we love each other very much. I finally married my King of the Castle! The problem we are facing is that we both have significant scars from being married to people with major Personality Disorders....
I would ask my question of my mother since she had 4 boys and my father was a "real man'; however, she is 83 and I am her baby. I don't want to stress
her out. She always did
have good advice from the male perspective. I am asking that of you....
Both of us are under a great deal of stress, but I believe as a Man, my husband's stressors are much greater than mine. Not only is he dealing with the major turmoil with his daughter, but he is currently anticipating a major job change after 9 years. He has travelled up the ranks and has made an excellent name for himself. He has been agressively sought after by headhunters which to him is bitter/sweet.
Meanwhile he is dealing with his evil ex-wife, and sincerely ***** ***** to help him out since I somewhat know what I'm doing since I've been dealing with my ex for 6 years. He has been very receptive of my research and reads yours and the Attorney Expert responses. He wants to fight for his daughter, but has admitted he will probably not do it without me pushing him. That part is really hard for me. The last thing I want to do is push or control.
Lately, we have had a difficult time communicating. I think we are both exhausted, and our scars are rearing their ugly heads. I feel like whenever I try to tell him how I feel he gets mad at me even though he says he's not. Sometimes I just want to walk away because no matter what I say makes him upset. I was told by a local psychologist that it seems like I talk to him like a child and not a man. I believe sometimes I do, but I don't realize I'm doing it. I have to talk to my NPD ex-husband like that.
I believe we have what it takes to make a great marriage, but we are dealing with so much crud all at once. Can you give us some suggestions on how we can regroup, and truly think of eachother and take a breather.