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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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I asked my daughter (3 years old) If daddy touched her pee

Customer Question

I asked my daughter (3 years old) If daddy touched her pee pee and she said "yes he scratched my pee pee and scratched my butt and then he scratched my hand" and then she continued to go off about a monster that scratched her chest. I checked my daughter for any scratches, redness, or anything that didnt look right and there was no scratches or redness on her body including her private areas. I dont know what to do about it. I had her tell me agian what she said in front of her dad and she said it agian. He asked why she would say that and she laughed and said daddy scratched my pee pee and my hand. I then asked her if daddy hurt her and she told me no. I dont know what to do. I ask her this because when i was a child i was touched by a family member and i told my grand mother and she just ignored me. Also a couple years ago when my fiance and i started dating he had just left his ex wife and her daughter (12y.o.) was very upset that he left and said that he touched her. He was completely devastated that she said that. A couple days later his ex wife called him and said her daughter told her that she was lying about him touching her and she hated him for leaving and wanted him to come back. Even though her daughter denied it later it still hasnt left my mind that she said that about him.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  KansasTherapist replied 5 years ago.
JACUSTOMER-3wxg6ws3- : This is certainly a serious issue. I wonder what made you ask her the question.
JACUSTOMER-3wxg6ws3- : There are many reasons a dad might touch the private areas of a 3 year old. Was helping her in the bath or with toileting? Did he tell her it was a secret and not to tell anyone? Did she have a funny feeling when he touched her?

I am the only one who gives her a bath and she goes to the bathroom by herself. I also asked her if she daddy told her a secret and she said no

JACUSTOMER-3wxg6ws3- : What made you ask her about it?
JACUSTOMER-3wxg6ws3- : Is this sometthing you worry about and ask her about?

I asked her because I worry about her being around a man alone. My fiance watches her and our son while im at work. I also want her to know that its ok to tell me if someone hurts her

JACUSTOMER-3wxg6ws3- : Is this the first time she's ever said anything like that?

No i have asked her before and she said the same thing

JACUSTOMER-3wxg6ws3- : It can be very hard to sort out with a 3 year old.
JACUSTOMER-3wxg6ws3- : They aren't firmly grounded in reality. When she's laughing and being kind of silly about it, it's hard to tell what really happened.
JACUSTOMER-3wxg6ws3- : You could have a therapist or specialist in child sexual abuse talk to her.

Is there anything else i can look for or ask her in specific


she also had a check up a couple weeks ago and her doctor said she was ok


her doctor said she was a normal healthy happy 3 year old

JACUSTOMER-3wxg6ws3- : It might be best to keep your ears and ears open but not press.
JACUSTOMER-3wxg6ws3- : Is that at all helpful to you?
JACUSTOMER-3wxg6ws3- : If I haven't fully answered your question, please let me know what you're thinking, and I'll try to respond.