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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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Ive have a 14 year old son who has been seeing a therapist

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I've have a 14 year old son who has been seeing a therapist for the last year. There have been multiple times where my son’s mother, my ex-wife, has had very tense outbreaks between them and my current wife that the therapist has been involved in. I’ve purposefully stayed out of sessions only attend when I’m asked. But I know my ex-wife has always asked me what was said and what was talked about. So I can only assume she does the same with my son. My son now wants to change therapists because he feels that the therapist has been influenced by his mother. It has been recommended to me that he should continue to work with that therapist and for him to work out his issues rather that run from them. My belief is that we should let him continue to work with the therapist but with the understanding unless my son or the therapist asks we do not participate. He’s old enough and needs to learn dealing with his problems and not run and hide with another therapist just because he doesn’t like what he says. Also the time it takes for a new therapist to get up to speed. My son does not need to learn doctor or therapist shopping now. The therapist has a great history and has great recommendations from people I’ve talked too.

My questions are:

Should we encourage him to continue with that therapist or should we honor his request for find a new one?

Is there any law or rule that gives rights of confidentiality for him being 14, where he can tell his mom it's his therapist and it's between him and his therapist what they talk about?

You are definitely taking the right steps. There are a lot of parents that wouldn't show your commitment. I think you should not take him to a new therapist for several reasons. If you do he will learn that he can run away from conflict, the new therapist would need to rehash what has already been said, and the mom could just do the same thing with the new therapist. The rules about confidentiality say that we cannot talk about a case when the patient is an adult. However when the patient is a child, anyone under 18, the parents are informed of any issue because they are the ones signing the release of information not the child. The confidentiality does not extend to either parent because the patient is under 18


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