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JaRee1993, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 180
Experience:  Licensed to diagnosis and treat mental and emotional health issues of adults, adolescents and children and pastoral counseling.
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I will shorten my story. My ex wife and I got married after

Customer Question

I will shorten my story. My ex wife and I got married after having affairs with eachother, on our exes. Our marriage was great for a while, she quit a job in sales in which she said she was sexually harrassed constantly. I continued working, but quit that line of work when she said it was hurting our family. I passed up a promotion they offered. We then moved to the country and began a "normal" life. I sold a great truck while she kept her Tahoe LTZ. I allowed my Houston home to be short sold due to her advice. Things were good, though with us. Until she decided she didn't want to live like that anymore. She got back into the same career she quit a couple of years earlier. She began spending time with other men more often, and being secretive and stand-offish and accusing me of being controlling and paranoid when I demanded answers as to where she'd been or who she was talking to. Our marriage became volitile due to her hard stance for her own freedom, all the while monitoring my emails and cell phone use, but going to great lengths to hide her information from me. We began arguing constantly, and to my regret, I did get physical with her on a few occasions. It was just so frustrating. We divorced December 2nd, and since then have occasionally talked. She says she's lonely for me and that she truly did love me and is sorry for how she acted and what she put me through. She wants to look into counseling for us. However, I still hold so much hate for her. My life is very difficult now because of all the changes I made for her. While she's living a charmed life because she never had to give anything up. I gave up salary, promotions, and things I loved and I feel like I got ripped off. I hate her for it. She even hid the money in the bank account, so that it would be difficult for me to prove how much we had, so she wouldn't have to split it with me in the divorce. SHOULD I look into counseling? I don't WANT to hate her. I want to get past the point where my blood boils when I think of her. ??
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  JaRee1993 replied 5 years ago.
JaRee1993 :

Hi, thank you for contacting Just Answer. My name is Ja`Ree and I am a mental health counselor. It sounds as though counseling would be very good for you. It would give you someone you can talk to on a regular basis and who can assist you with developing skills to help you let go of the anger, feelings of betrayal and hurt and move on to build a healthy, happy life for yourself or with someone else. This relationship does not sound healthy for you. If she wants to get counseling together, then I would recommend that she also get individual counseling first and then the two of you do couples counseling with your counselor, if you are thinking about giving it a try with her again. I do not know if money is an issue for you with counseling, however if it is I would recommend calling your local mental health board on ask them to refer you to an agency that has counselors and psychiatrist and if money is an issue ask for agencies that go by your income. This way you will probably pay little or nothing for your treatment. Please find someone you can talk with who can assist you with letting go of the pain and anger.

Please let me know if I can assist you further in this. If this answer has helped you then please press the Accept button at the bottom of the page so that I can be paid by Just Answer. Also, please fill out the feedback form so that I can know how to better serve our customers. Again, thank you for contacting Just Answer. Ja`Ree