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Brad The Therapist
Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience:  10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
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My sister is obsessed with our mothers health almost to the

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My sister is obsessed with our mothers health almost to the point I think she wants to find something. Why is this? Is she afraid of our mom passing away?
Brad :

Thank you for your question. Before providing recommendations, I have a few questions. First, when did your sister's behaviors first start? How old is your sister? Any other stressors going on in her life?

Brad :

I am experiencing technical difficulties on my end so please continue to reply and I will reply back to you

Customer: Started last year. She is 59. Yes she has marital issues. Has a controlling nature
Customer: She always calls me and tries to either worry me or make me feel guilty so that I should run over and check on my mom
I apologize for my technical glitches...I had to switch to the Q&A format to answer your question. Please tell me more about your sister's behaviors. What does she do to look for something wrong with your mother?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Anything. If my mom doesn't answer the phone she will immediately call me and ask the last time I talked to her
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
She tries to worry me or make me feel guilty and want me to stop whatever I'm doing and check on my mom
Have you discussed your concerns to your sister? Also, was your mother ill in the past or current ill?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I have discussed it with her. My mom is 79 but healthy otherwise
What was her response when you brought this to your sister?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
She says it's not normal for my mom to be tired and sometimes not want to do things. There must be something wrong with her and she just needs to find out what it is
What does mom say about this?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
That she just means well. I think she is turning my mom into a hypochondriac. I don't understand why my sister does this and expects me to either give her sow sort of answer or agree with her behavior. She's had her take every test in the world and she is in good health.
How often does your sister contact you at this point about mom? If it is daily, I urge you to have a frank discussion with her that all the tests shows that mom is healthy and that there is nothing for her to worry about it. If she does not listen, set up boundaries for yourself by letting her know whenever she asks you a question about mom's health, let her know you do not know the answer and that her questioning of mom's health is making you worry about your sister. Ask her what is going on in her life because you feel stressed by her when she asks questions about mom.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Ok. It's daily. And I did ask her these things. Can you answer is it because she is afraid of her dying? We all will someday and she can't prevent it. But she may drive me crazy in the process. So you think she is obsessing to distract het from her own problems?
I believe she is distracting herself from her own problems if these problems first started when she encountered marital problems. I encourage you to take your sister to a therapist, if possible. You can frame this visit to the therapist as getting advice about mom's health. Inform your sister that you are worried that she (your sister) is worrying too much about mom and that seeing a therapist will help clarify if your sister is indeed right to be worried or being too excessive about worrying. Once you attend the first session, your sister may share about what is going on with her.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
She sees a therapist regularly
Maybe I should
It may help you sort out the confusion you are feeling about your sister. Have you considered attending a therapy session with your sister regarding this concern?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
She doesn't want to. She thinks I don't care. Whatever
She doesn't want you to go with her to her session? You obviously do care if you are asking me questions about this issue. I urge you to attend individual therapy or even contacting her therapist and inform the therapist of your concerns.
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