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Brad The Therapist
Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience:  10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
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I broke up with my bf and I feel like I am alone and don't

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I broke up with my bf and I feel like I am alone and don't want to do anything... is that wrong to stay inside and get over a flu bug. i feel better, but I wonder if and when i should head out. i really have no place i have to go and no man in sight, that sounded desperate. when i think about going online i get really sleepy and don't feel like going that route. i know no one will just find me. will it make a person feel better to do nothing til it comes naturaly. i feel like i am pushing it and am caught up in what i just went through. Any advice? Worried that i won't have someone special in my life...
You are definitely pushing it and rushing the process. Take some time to hang out with friends and family. Take time to pursue your hobbies and interests. Take time to analyze what went wrong in previous relationships as to not repeat the mistakes. There is no rush to this at all.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I guess it is hard to believe that I will be 58 next month and I sound like a teenager. Are you married?....just kidding lol. I do have a sense of humor. I do have a vacation planned for my son who is graduating college and his dad is going too. We have been divorced 10 years and have had a different life style, we get along well for the sake of our son. I suppose I miss my family unit and feel sad because we are not under the same roof. My son lives with his dad and I payed child support. I can't see living together, especially if my son leaves after graduation for work. Oh well, we are close. I guess I am just worrried about my future. Any advice?
Thank you for your question. What types of activities do you enjoy doing? Or is there a hobbies or activity you wish you partook in the past but haven't? This would be the opportunity to do it. There are adult education classes in your area that offer art or cooking classes, learning a foreign language, etc...These classes are a great way to meet people. Hope this helps. Please let me know if you have further questions.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you but I guess I am concerned that I am trying to keep up with my ex husband and my son who lives with his dad and we are planning a congradulation trip for our son is graduating college and we are taking him to the keys for a week. We all get along well but it is weighing on me that I can't get past the guilt of the break up of our family 10 years ago. i left the marrage because he wouldn't slow down drinking beer. I feel robbed of my family life but I hope it gets better once my son moves on perhaps moves out of hid dads home. i don't wish for him to leave prematurely, but I wonder if I will be able to move on perhaps sucessfully with a relationship after, cus up until now I haven't.
Thank you for your response. Are there thoughts and feelings you wished you can share to your ex-husband that you haven't shared? If so what are they? Did you feel you had closure with the end of your marriage?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
How can there be closure especially when you share a child?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i have told my ex I miss my family unit., but he slept with my sister while we were getting divorced and i don't have those feelings for him.
When he slept with your sister, did he ever apologize? Are you angry at him for doing that? why did you get divorce?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Well no he threatened to divorce me bla bla bla and yelled alot he drank beer and we grew apart. I found an attorney and he picked up the phone when I was talking to my girlfriend and told her i called an atty. Well, he came in my son's room when I was putting my son to bed and said "I knowww" well, he filed so i was the defendant and said i started it he would finish it. It just got worse i started going out at night when they were asleep and came home. We grew apart it took a while and I stayed in the house. I don't know exactlly when but they were seeing each other and my sister was always after him. I just told him at least i didn't f your brother. I eventually did find a guy but it didn't last. yea i'm angry at them both that ruined any chance of us getting back together. that was 10 years ago and now that my son will graduate college and move on i won't move in there even if i could cus my son might feel bad and wonder why i didn't come back when he was home
Based on your responses, I suggest for you to attend individual therapy to resolve your feelings around your ex. You made the right decision to end the relationship but the unresolved feelings are stopping you from pursuing other relationships. In addition, when you end a relationship, this experience is reminding you of your painful divorce. I wish I could help you further through this forum, but I am unable to since individual therapy is the only way to work through these feelings.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Well, I guess you are right. I don't suppsoe you have any idae how bad this is as far as how long the therapy would take? I do have someone that I have seen on and off and will call her about this. I guess I should ask her. The break ups that I have gone through have really compounded and yet I feal kinda strong that I just don't want to put up with stupidity. I drove a catering truck and a customer gave me a sticker saying "stupidity should be painful" it was for my pink hard hat. lol Well, do you think if I just realize that these feelings are related to my divorce that I will be able to get through this knowing that is kinda what has been going on? I mean it does make sense. My ex and ar friends and I mentioned I believe that we are taking our son to the keys for his college graduation present. I almost can't wait till he is really on his own, yet I don't know what to expect.

Please reach out to this friend. I cannot tell you how long it will take in terms of the number of sessions needed, but things can get better with therapy. Another thing to consider is that once your son is on his own, you may be reacting to the fact that you may not have as much contact with your ex, which extends your feeling of feeling unresolved.
Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience: 10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
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