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Ask David Akiva Your Own Question
David Akiva
David Akiva, BA, MA,
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 167
Experience:  Counselor; Behavioral Consultant
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what can we as grandparents do for our grandson who is 14 almost

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what can we as grandparents do for our grandson who is 14 almost 15 and refuses to go to school. He was a straight A student the first part of last year. He is in the 9th grade & is failing. What can we do?

Duddy :

Welcome, I am a professional counselor and behavioral-consultant. I'd like to ask a few questions to better understand the situation and problem you are describing.

Customer:

ok.

Duddy :

Thank you for responding. I'd like to start by getting a much clearer sense of the question you are asking. What do you mean more specifically by "What can we do?"

Duddy :

You show as offline right now. So I'll check back periodically for your response. We can leave messages back and forth or you might want to leave me a few times for tomorrow during the day that you might be available for a direct chat. I'll be online starting around 7:30 AM EST.

Customer:

I mean as grandparents, where he lives, what can we do to help motivate him to go to school.

David Akiva, BA, MA,
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 167
Experience: Counselor; Behavioral Consultant
David Akiva and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Thank you for choosing JustAnswer! Your son has hit puberty and his world has become an adolescent rebellion. The fact that he went from straight A's to wanting to ditch school is a strong "cry for help" on his part and requires someone to step up to the plate and set some limits with him.You need to coordinate things closely with his parents since they are the people he is focusing his rebellion on. Teenage rebellion has a social aspect to it in that the teen will turn on his parents, challenging their authority and asserting himself more and more until someone has the courage to say stop and mean it. At the same time the teen will attempt to ally with the grandparents, superficially appealing to their good nature while attempting to exploit them for all they are worth and create a rift between them and the teen's parents. Your grandson will continue to spiral out of control until someone steps in decisively. I would start talking to his parents and working with them on setting some good limits on his behaviors.

I hope this answers your question to your satisfaction. If so, please remember to click on the green accept button so that I will receive credit for my response. You may return to this answer for reference at any time after you accept.

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If there is anything else I can help you with about your grandson let me know. If you are his primary caretaker I have some more suggestions.
If your grandson's parents are being too passive I have some suggestions for you to deal with that

I need to inform you of the situation as it stands so you can decide what to do. You have made the effort to ask and receive a response to your question. That item has been timed out because you have accepted the repose but not clicked the acceptance button. As a result you have my hard work and compassion and I have no payment. If there is anything else I can do as an expert let me know or address it in a separate response addressed to me and I will gladly answer it.

If there is anything else I can do let me know. Your concern is well placed and your grandson is in need of some help right now.