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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5809
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate, Well this morning after dropping my daughter off at

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Well this morning after dropping my daughter off at school, I went and bought some tea at a nearby spot. Then because I didn't want to go home so soon, I walked over to a store. I tried on a few things but all I saw in the mirror was this fat, ugly and pathetic person. I reality, I doubt too many people would agree with what I saw but there is. I was so disgusted wtih myself that I had to leave to go home.
Now that I'm home again, I feel even worse. What is going on with me? Why does it seem that every so often I get this sadness that grabs ahold of me and won't let go?
I doubt I will be able to do much with the rest of my day except sleep. Sleeping makes the pain go away. It sometimes makes the bad memories go away too.

Hi Kathy,

There is nothing wrong with you except your thoughts. When you were out today, you sounded as if you were having a nice time. You enjoyed your tea then decided to look at some clothes, which sounds very nice. It was there that you had thoughts about yourself and became depressed again. Before that, you were making progress. So you did accomplish something today.

Next time you have thoughts like that, stop yourself. Put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it or practice saying "stop it" in your mind. You can also write something small on your arm or palm, something like No or Stop It. Before you do these thought stopping ideas, make up a list of thoughts you can replace your bad thoughts with. For example, when you think "I am fat, ugly and pathetic" say stop to yourself then think of the last compliment you got from someone. Replace your bad thought with this new thought. This will make it hard to feel the depression that comes with thinking something bad.

If you feel so bad that sleeping is the only thing you want to do, try sleeping for a limited period of time. Then get yourself back up again. That will provide you with a break from your feelings but also prevent you from slipping into a sleep to avoid pattern.


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Okay I will try your suggestions. I just wish I could feel a bit more happiness. To me the world is a sad place to be in right now. I see other people laughing and enjoying themselves and wish I was them.

What happens if I never get to that point? What if I am stuck with these horrible feelings for the rest of my life? I wouldn't be able to handle that.

Thanks as always Kate. You are always there to help weather the storm.


I know that it is hard to do these things when you don't feel them, Kathy. It is difficult to face going through the motions and trying day after day. But it is like learning how to ride a bike, you just have to do it even if you think you can't. Once you can get into a rhythm of thinking the good thoughts, your feelings will follow your behavior.

Try not to look at everyone else and what they have. That is a sure way of making yourself feel worse and keeping you down. Besides, they may look happy but some people are good at putting on a face for everyone. You never know what they are going through behind all that laughter. Everyone has problems and no one lives a perfect life.

I am always glad to be here for you, Kathy no matter what.


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