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Ask TherapistMarryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5821
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My daughter is getting married this July and i couldn't be

Customer Question

My daughter is getting married this July and i couldn't be happier for her, but i have such a hard situation i really feel like i am going to have a nervous break down over this. I left my husband 8 years ago with our family friend whom i married in 2006. My ex husband and i had a very nasty divorce and i have not seen him since! At the time my son was 18 and my daughter was away at college. My children both just recently began speaking with my new husband. it was a very uncomfortable situation for them because they new him and they had a sense of loyalty to there father. All of our family friends and family will be there whom i haven't had any contact with only my ex husband does. of course my new husband is not invited! All of these ex family and friends over indulge%2
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question but it appears it was cut off. Can you tell me a little more about your concerns and what your question is?

Thank you,
Kate

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
can you tell me were it got cut off, please!
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

You said, "all of these family and friends over indulge".

Kate

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

with alcohol and i know there will be a verbal cofrantation and i don't want to ruin my daughters wedding reception

Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Ok, thank you for completing the question. It helps.

Since you are expecting that at least some of the people at your daughter's wedding will act out towards you, it is good to be prepared before you go.

The first step is getting support. Talk to your daughter about your concerns. It is her big day and she may not be able to do much, but she can talk with her father, not about your feelings but about her concerns that everyone be on their best behavior because it is important to her. That may cause him to settle everyone down a bit, lest he be the cause of your daughter's wedding problems and make her unhappy.

Two, take someone supportive with you to the wedding. If you cannot have your husband there, ask a relative or sibling to go with you. Being alone will only make you feel more vulnerable.

Three, limit your conversations and/or responses to anyone who could be or is hostile. Think ahead of time about things you want to say. For example, if someone approaches you and says something hurtful, say I am sorry you feel that way and walk away. This limits the charge the person gets out of trying to hurt you and may calm everyone down a bit.

Four, smile and be polite but keep in mind this is your daughter's wedding. You are helping to host these people and they are your daughter's guests. Much is expected of them as well regarding their behavior. So plan ahead of time with your daughter about how she wants anyone who drinks and gets out of hand handled. Make sure people are in place to remove anyone unruly or who is doing damage of any kind.

If you do some planning, it may not be comfortable but it will be bearable.

I hope this helps you,
Kate

TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Kate: I thaught the same ans. I guess great minds think a like! I will have to just suck it up and do the right thing formy daughter! I have one question, this costs me 22.00
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Your deposit goes to Just Answer. When you click accept, part of the deposit goes to the expert you worked with (me in this case, of course) and the other part is paid to Just Answer. You do not pay beyond what you have already.

Kate

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Sorry i am not understanding your ans. The whole ans. is 22.00 Am i correct?
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

I believe so, yes. Just Answer does not share your payment information with the experts. We only know what we might be reimbursed, if the customer accepts. You are always welcome to contact the moderators if you have more specific questions regarding your account. They would be more than happy to help.

Kate

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Well Kate , than you so much for your ans. You definetly put my mind at ease a wee bit!
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

You're welcome! And congratulations to your daughter!

Take care,

Kate

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thanks Kate!!