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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I am in business with my brother. I lent him lots of money but have never been paid back. I have run out of money now. His own business is on the edge and the business which we share is at a cross road. Its needs more money invested in order to progress further or close down. I can get a loan on condition he is not involved in the business anymore but I don't know how to tell him this. I am 49 and it is difficult to find a job and if I don't continue the business 13 people will be out of work. This is driving me crazy, thoughts of suicide are constantly in my head as the only way out and then I think that I am being stupid and need to act strong - I am unable to come to a solution as to what to do next. This dilemma is causing me to feel depressed and anxious. Any advice?
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

You are at a crossroad where there is only one sensible and correct path to take. You are very kind and caring - not only about your brother, but about your employees. You are the leader and must be the strongest.

You say that you can get a loan on condition that he not be involved. That is a cold hard fact, not your value judgement. It is the business judgement of the bank or lender and that is not disputable. It may also be your judgement as well, and it probably is a good one, since he is not suited to be the one in charge.

Lay down the facts. Be tough minded and don't take any argument from him. You have no reason to be afraid of him. You are saving HIM and he needs to appreciate it and go along with the program, unless he wants out. That has to be the law as you give it to him. Perhaps you are not used to taking such a strong stand, but, to use an old cliche,
"when the going gets tough, the tough get going".

You are also under a great deal of stress and this is causing you terrible anxiety and perhaps a bit of depression. This is situational and is classified as Adjustment Disorder rather than as Anxiety or Depression. Fix the situation and the symptoms go away.

If you have a physician that trusts you then tell him that you want something for anxiety. Do not accept an antidepressant (such as SSRIs like Prozac, Zoloft, or Paxil). You want something that will get rid of your anxiety right away, that you can take as needed. What will help you is a benzodiazepine such as alprazolam (Xanax), clonazepam (Klonopin), or lorazepam (Ativan) taken only as needed in a small dose (for example, one half of the smallest dosage of any of those pills). I would recommend 0.25 mg (half pill) of alprazolam, only AS NEEDED. This can help get you through this situation.

Suicide is not your style and will hurt everyone. You wan't to help everyone so you must act tough and see this through. Hopefully your doctor will be smart enough to understand that you are not a drug seeker, and that this is exactly what you need to help you get through this crisis. When you solve it, the anxiety will stop.

Please watch over your precious self. Many people care deeply about you, even strangers like me.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
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