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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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I can reach through masturbation however I can't with a man.

Customer Question

I can reach climax through masturbation however I can't with a man. I was sexually abused in my younger years and was told thats why, any suggestions as to what could help?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

There are many reasons why someone can climax with maturbation than with a partner. One is that diffrent stimulation is occurring when masturbating rather than with a partner. You may want to be honest with a partner that he is not stimulating you by doing one act over another. If you aren't honest then the sex life will suffer. You as a couple can make changes that help you become more satisfied. You can also get information regarding how to satisfy each other and try for instance new positions. The other possibility is that you are inconfident when performing with a partner and this is interfering with your pleasure. This can be a matter of just gaining experience so that you are less self concious and you may have better sexual satisfaction naturally as you become more confident.

As you learn what you like and how you like sexual activity you will see that satisfaction comes more easily. You may have to guide partners to certain areas or certain positions but you may explore your body with a partner and this can lead to more enjoyment. Find resources such as the Enjoyment of Sex and learn what you like and how to get it. The best resource for communicating your sexual needs verbally is Mars and Venus in the Bedroom. Don't be afraid to attack this problem like you would any other.

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