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Mark Manley
Mark Manley, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 402
Experience:  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Over 15 years exp. Married 30 years and happy.
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I have just had a recent breakup with a fellow that was

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i have just had a recent breakup with a fellow that was prescribed pills for schizoprenia. He lost an arm about 2 years ago and i was under the impression that they were given to him for his trauma from his arm. He went off of his medication cold turkey and I Received irrational humilating accusations of jealousy followed by punishing behaviour...not speaking looking at me for 2-3 days. Does this sound like schizoprenia behaviour. Any help would be appreciated....thankyou Vikki
sounds like paranoid schizophrenia. With out meds. it is very difficult and often impossible to be in an intimate relationship with a person in this state. The person has lost touch with reality. If the person is not in reality what can you share together? One of the tale tell signs is the person who is acting so strange is genuinely baffled by your normal behavior, this is because their perception of things is totally real to them if no one else.
You have now witnessed first hand the cruel reality of debilitating mental illness.
So sorry for you and for him.
Mark Manley
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

when i left i was heartbroken and told him that i wasnt leaving because i didnt love him.....he contacted me once to tell me to get my stuff out.....clothes and trinkets immediately or they would be out on the street. That was the day I Received my results from having a hysterectomy done. He never once asked.....and 2 days later held a christmas party....i didnt go. He didn't like any of my friends would disappear if they came around. But he liked a local pub where anyone he knew and was very social there...and well liked. We had a lot of fun together....even by ourselves but he would snap....i would be told in the end that i didnt do anything for him and that i wasnt even good for sex since recovering from a hysterectomy...that night got told to sleep in the spare room and then didn't speak to me for 3 days. Since then I Tried to make contact.....we made plans to meet and then told me it would have to wait...he was busy christmas shopping. hasnt bothered to contact me at all......are you sure this isn't a control freak instead of schizoprenia?

Sounds more schizo to me, but either way, as much as you love him and as fun or charming as he is, he can't sustain the emotional intimacy you are looking for. I am so sorry. I wish I could tell you this was a bad dream and you need only awake to a new day, but I can't. You may not be ready yet but eventually you will see he is not well and you can't change that.
Mark Manley
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for your time. I needed to hear it from an expert.....i searched online and there really isn't much information on actual behaviours. Can you give me any advice. I Keep going from sadness to anger...I Feel trashed. i don't know how to grieve this. I've written letters and thrown them away and i have never ended a relationship like this one ever......I am angry and sad...I don't know if I Should write a kind letter or express my anger...or do nothing at all. I've lost my home and all of my contents...this final advice would be so much appreciated and by the've been great! Vikki

This is not like a normal breakup because it is not based in normal emotional trauma or even normal emotional drama.
As I wrote above:
"You have now witnessed first hand the cruel reality of debilitating mental illness."
You can't make him see his inaccurate perception (caused by his illness) and you can't make his illness well. You are not in a fair fight and you are powerless. What could be more frustrating. It is like he died, but he didn't. In a normal break up you would write a kind letter and you would probably express your anger too, but neither will help in this situation. If any thing you could beg him to resume his meds. Your last post tells me you are exactly where you need to be in this process. Now keep learning not to personalize any of his behavior, it's not you, it is his illness.
Mark Manley
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