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Ask Dr. Shirley Schaye Your Own Question
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience:  PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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My boyfriend and his sister had sex when he was 12yo and she

Customer Question

My boyfriend and his sister had sex when he was 12yo and she was 15yo, she ended up getting pregnat and having a baby. The parents sent my boyfreind to a group home and had his sister raise the baby. He has alcohol and drug problem his sister seems fine she is now married,kids 40 and he is 37divorced, kids. Why would they have sex so young and is their some weird sexual lust between them?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Shirley Schaye replied 5 years ago.
Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Thank you for contacting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about this. Good question. The problem is with the parents. Your boyfriend was 12 years old. The sister was 15. The sister most certainly should have known better. There is certainly something the parents did here to even create such a situation.Did the parents ever try to investigate who started the sexual encounter between them. I'm just thinking, not necessarily that this is so because obviously I don't know the facts but if a 12 year old boy approached a 15 year old girl, one would think that if the 15 year old girl did not want to have sex and/also knew it was not normal she would have pushed him away. So for the parents to send him to a group home without exploring this in great detail is most especially negligent. Also, what parent wouldn't insist on their daughter having an abortion if their daughter is carrying her brother's child. Incredible!!! So where is that child now? That child would now be 25 years old. What does that child know? So to answer your question --- and I quote you, "Why would they have sex so young and is their some weird sexual lust between them?" ---- there is so much here that is complicated. I wouldn't say there is weird lust now. I would say that the 15 year old was curious about sex and the 12 year old, your boyfriend, just, just entering puberty was lured into it by the 15 year old because, as I already said, if the sister didn't want this to happen if your boyfriend was the one to start it, the sister would have pushed him away. These parents have created a terrible mess by sending him to a group home instead of investigating all this further and getting these kids help.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Just checking to see if you have added anything to this chat. Will check back later.