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Ask Suzanne Your Own Question
Suzanne, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  LCSW, RN. Mental Health, Relationship & Parenting issues.EMDR, Hypnosis.
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I am in a same sex relationship and i have a 13 year old

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i am in a same sex relationship and i have a 13 year old daughter. My partner does not have a child but wants to have one badly. I am affraid because her parents were so mean to her and i notice that is very insenstive to my child. She swears she is trying so I bother to try to work on the realtionship and have a child? I know it is not my child it is her insecurites....
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

Thanks for bringing your question to JustAnswer.

I think that you are right to be concerned. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior (unless the person commits to, and completes, therapy for the issue.) You have already noted a non-maternal attitude toward your daughter. It would be wisest to wait to have a child until you know she has worked on the issues from her childhood, and it's reflected in her improved treatment of your child. It's possible that her insensitivity to your child would increase if the two of you had a child together at this point, because someone with this much insensitivity would likely play favorites, which wouldn't be good for your daughter.

While it isn't your partner's fault that she didn't have good role models for parenting, it doesn't seem wise to bring another child into the picture until she has worked on her insecurities and lack of attachment to your child.

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