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Suzanne, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  LCSW, RN. Mental Health, Relationship & Parenting issues.EMDR, Hypnosis.
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I think there is something wrong with me but I dont no what,

Resolved Question:

I think there is something wrong with me but I dont no what, I have looked at all the quizes and none seem to fit. Well i did score 50 in the bipolar quiz but it still doesnt feel right. Can you help if I explain whats going on with me?
Whats going on is, I had a miscarriage a few months ago, it was a tramatic event, it was through a domestic attack, but I forgave him and stayed with him. We have been happy ever since but I have nightmares all the time reliving it, I feel like I can see this unborn child sometimes and speak to it, I feel overly clingy to my partner. I keep thinking Im pregnant when Im not, I even tell people I am and make it up in my head to the extent where I believe it myself, I give myself pregnancy symptoms as well. I often think about killing myself, I randomly cry and am constantly upset. My mood switches all the time, which is why I think I scored high on bipolar quiz. I dont think its depression though as I dont just feel down, I switch and I imagine things that aren't there, talk to myself alot without realising and say things that aren't true but I generally believe they are, I'm not a liar :( 
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

Thanks for bringing your question to JustAnswer.

What you're experiencing is a combination of grief and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Here are the symptoms of PTSD from the US Nat. Institute of Mental Health:

Symptoms of PTSD fall into three main categories:

1. "Reliving" the event, which disturbs day-to-day activity

  • Flashback episodes, where the event seems to be happening again and again

  • Repeated upsetting memories of the event

  • Repeated nightmares of the event

  • Strong, uncomfortable reactions to situations that remind you of the event

2. Avoidance

  • Emotional "numbing," or feeling as though you don't care about anything

  • Feeling detached

  • Being unable to remember important aspects of the trauma

  • Having a lack of interest in normal activities

  • Showing less of your moods

  • Avoiding places, people, or thoughts that remind you of the event

  • Feeling like you have no future

3. Arousal

  • Difficulty concentrating

  • Startling easily

  • Having an exaggerated response to things that startle you

  • Feeling more aware (hypervigilance)

  • Feeling irritable or having outbursts of anger

  • Having trouble falling or staying asleep

You might feel guilt about the event (including "survivor guilt"). You might also have some of the following symptoms, which are typical of anxiety, stress, and tension:

You would begin to feel much better if you found a therapist who specializes in trauma, and particularly EMDR, a treatment proven to work for trauma.

The fact that you're still living with the man who caused this trauma means that you are constantly being triggered by his presence. Even though you say you've been happy ever since, your symptoms say that deep down inside, you are having trouble trusting him, which is why you cling to him. You are still mourning the baby, and the nightmares are a result of the trauma.

Your symptoms are quite serious, but they can be treated with the help of an experienced therapist. Here is a link to help you find a therapist trained in helping persons with trauma.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Ok but this still doesn't explain why I keep thinking I'm pregnant again and telling people I am. My boyfriend left me the other day as he thinks I'm a complusive liar, he said if I can't prove I'm pregnant then we're over for good and I'm scared of losing him as I don't no if I am pregnant, there is something wrong beacuse in my head I am pregnant again and I am not lying. The nightmares aren't just about the event there of lots of things but they all usually include him in them, I've had post tramatic stress and i still feel different. All I no is something isn't right in my head and losing the man I love has kicked me up enough to admit I need help. I feel so innocent in the situation but my partner and lots of other people are turning on me calling me physco and a mental patient and I feel like I actually am ill but I just don't no what with.
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

It's time to get treatment. You don't have to know the precise diagnosis in order to get help. It's the job of the therapist to figure out what is going on. Just tell them what you've told me: Your boyfriend hurt you and caused a miscarriage, and you're having nightmares, thinking you are pregnant, and telling people you're pregnant while you're not. The therapist will take it from there, and do a full history and evaluation.

You say you've have multiple traumas...("I've had post traumatic stress") ...this is not casual stuff, and if you weren't treated the first time, now you are being doubly traumatized. A person doesn't become a compulsive liar are suffering from delusions due to the trauma and may need medication to get your thinking straight again.

Stop worrying about figuring out your exact diagnosis, and get yourself into treatment. Call and make an appointment with a therapist or call a shelter for battered women and ask who they recommend for treatment. Please treat this as an emergency and don't delay getting in-person help.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I accept your answer but just have one further question as more of an advise, since your a professional.
My boyfriend, I love him dearly, his domestic act was a one off as he was so scared of me having a baby, he over reacted. He isn't violent, never was before and never has been since.
He doesn't no I've been considering seeking medical attention but now I have I am happy but I feel with the 'delusions' and post tramatic stress I have dug a hole way to deep with him to get out of even by saying I am ill. Could give me a good way I could maybe talk to him about it, so he'll understand and not leave me for the wrong reasons, as I was told I had depression a few months ago when this happened as well. I feel if I do lose him I will kill myself as he is all I have left, I am absolutely terrified of the thought of him leaving me.
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

Don't make any decisions about ending your life while you are in the middle of all this upset. Get treatment first.

If this man loves you,and sees that you are trying to address the problems by getting help, I think he will stick by you. I'm sure he feels tremendous guilt about what happened, and wants to do what is right.

Once you have seen a therapist and have figured out exactly what's going on, explain it to him. When he hears that your actions and behaviors were a reaction to the trauma in your life, he should understand. If he doesn't understand, ask your therapist if he could come to a session with you. Once he hears what's going on from a professional, I'm sure he will understand that you weren't making things up on purpose.

Now that I know that you were previously diagnosed with depression, there is another possible explanation for your making things up: It is depression with psychotic features:

Remember that he probably feels guilty so keep the focus on the fact that

1)you're admitting you've acted strangely,

2)you're getting help, and

3) things will be better soon. But this all depends on you actually getting help, because otherwise he will know it's all just words.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Sorry for taking a while to reply.
I have taken your advise and have booked in with a therapist, also rang the NHS and have an appointment tomorrow with my GP.
I am still confused about a few things in my mind which you might be able to clear up for me, now I'm getting the help.
When me and my partner are together and happy, the nightmares do happen but everything is quite mild, then when I am looking at losing him it all gets 100 times worse and the symptoms become extreme, is this a result of my need to be clingy to him and because he is massively involved in this situation and the thought of losing him is one of my biggest fears? Also why are my nightmares always based around him?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: Other.
Expert I was talking to is now offline.
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

If you relist and another expert were to take over, I would not be paid for the work I have done with you. I waited, but you did not respond for over 20 hours.

These are among the issues I recommended you see a therapist in person to work out. And these are the issues it will take full-blown therapy to figure out. Some possibilities are that you have an early history of abandonment (parent's divorce can often lead to this) and when someone you care about leaves, it triggers those childhood feelings. Another is that probably he is the only person other than you who really cared about your pregnancy, and if he leaves, it will be like it never happened, and you're not done grieving yet, and need to be around someone who also feels the pain of the loss.

Your nightmares are based around him because he is the person you depend on, and he is also the person who hurt you. That causes deep confusion and hurt, which is most likely is being played out in your nightmares.

Without doing an evaluation and a full history, all anyone can give are the possibilities. Your time with your therapist will be what helps you sort all this out.

I'm glad you heeded my advice and booked your appointments--Anyone would be in rough shape after going through what you've been through. Admitting you need help is the first step to getting better.

I would appreciate your clicking on ACCEPT so I am paid for my work. Thanks!

Suzanne and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you