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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I am incredibly sad.......I went home for the holidays and felt great but was very emotional. I moved to the west coast a year and a half ago and I love the environment out here. I was seriously involved with someone when I moved here and it dissolved quite horribly shortly after moving in together and i was left to pick up the pieces as he moved in with his parents, he is from here. I then got into another relationship a while later that lasted until just two night ago. he was abusive in all ways possible and every relationship i have been in with men since 20 i have been abused in some way.....mainly emotionally, verbally and i am alone, i have no friends, i am in between the job i left and the new one i was offered, i don't know anyone except my exes who want nothing to do with me......i still love this recent one.......but he kept saying he never wants to live with anyone, get married or have children.....i thought i was okay with that but i was compromising to be with him because i want all of that......but i can't stop the cycle of meeting these wonderful men who turn awful and abuse me. now i feel worthless, guilty, ashamed, not worthy of happiness, sad, alone, lonely.....i got back to the west coast on tuesday and i have been in bed except to take my dog out since i walked in the door of my apartment......just tonight did i join a new parish, a young professionals group within the parish, i emailed the san diego young professionals about starting to attend functions....but that won't take all these pains and scars away.....or stop this horrible cycle i have been in for 10 years with 4 men......i have considered it may be easier if i fall asleep and don't wake up because i wont hurt anymore....but sadly my thought goes to my dog and what would she do without me.....i am at the core a very happy, outgoing, positive person......i am a shell of who i am right now.......
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 5 years ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

You are about to start a new job and meet a new set of young professionals. This WILL take away a lot of your pain by distracting you and offering new possibilities. Your last relationship was with a man who has not grown up and maybe never will. Perhaps you have chosen other men that you wish to nurture, for it seems that you are a nurturing person. You were a very "safe" person to him , and perhaps to the other ones, which, ironically, makes you the ideal candidate for them to vent on, for you weren't going to reject them out of hand (until they eventually went too far).

You are, seemingly, a terrific young woman who happens to make bad choices. There are surely decent men out there for you, ones that have established themselves a bit more, and do not need to be abusive to build themselves up.

Your life is a precious gift. It is not renewable and is all that we really ever own in this world. Everyone sinks to the depths of despair sometimes, and it is our duty to overcome our suffering and get through to the other side of our depression.

There IS another side, and there is happiness and fulfillment somewhere down the road. It is made all the more sweet by going through the pains of life to get there.

You will destroy not only your life when you do this, but will destroy others who care about you. When someone your age dies for any reason it is a tragedy. If they die by their own hand, then it is an act that destroys others' lives forever.

You must be brave and keep suffering. You can get help to help you ease the pain, with both medication and talk therapy. Taking your own life is the ultimate failure, and the mark of a person with little courage or strength. A short life blotted out by suicide is not the way to go. You must find a reason and a way to move ahead with your life.

We at JustAnswer truly care about you and ask you with all our hearts to save your life and find the help to move yourself forward in life. Don't throw away this gift.

God give you strength. Find a caring therapist to help you get past this deep depression. There are so many paths to take to get help, and one or some of them will help you. Please honor your life, for yourself, and for all of us who love our fellow humans

Caring regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

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