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Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience:  25 years in private practice
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I met a woman recently, about 2 months ago, at a job site

Customer Question

I met a woman recently, about 2 months ago, at a job site where we both attracted each other. We hit it off very well from the get go, as we shared some pictures from her camera.
As a result we kept in touch and established a deep relationship over the phone, where she shared things like she wasnt attracted that much to her boy friend and that she felt that being with someone that would not be as atrractive would keep her out of trouble from being unfaithful to him, which she already had been twice in her 9 year relationship with him. When I saw her again for the second time, I fell in love with her automaticaly, but feel that me kissing her was probably movinging too quickly. So after that day, we began seeing each other, secretively in my car...late nights, behind his back, which I never thought was ok, but by then had already fallen in love with her. One thing led to another and began beeing sexually intimate with her. In those 4 weeks I felt we had moving to quickly, but was blinded and cought up by the moment. We continued until we actualy got caught by her boyfriend. Her boyfriend forgave her, and she had to make a choice. Her religious convictions dictates she should be with her boyfriend, which had deprived her from affection and intimicy, so there would be abstenance from sex. I also have my moral and religious convitions, but was coaught up more in the emotional part first and secondly the sexual. Being caught was an emotional shock too me. She's is still with him , but we are still talking on a platonic level of conversation. I am still deeply in love with her. I know your not a psychic, but I would like to know what I can do to her love over. I had also been a marriage for many years, but was never in love....long story, until I found her. She says she still has strong feelings for me, but wants to do the right thing. Should I push the issue, let time heal us? Could there be hope for us to be in a deep relationship in the future? I apreciate your wise feedback.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for choosing JustAnswer! You are in a difficult position but not impossible. Your best choice is to continue being in contact with her. She will have to make the first move and she is reluctant to. I think that she is a somewhat passive person who puts her feelings second to her controlling boyfriend so I would not give up on other people since you may be waiting a long time and she may never leave him. There is a reason why she went behind his back to have an afair.

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