I am sorry that you are feeling this way. It is very hard and takes great courage to do what you are doing.
Your therapist is right, one step at a time. But that can seem like a mountain to climb when you are facing so many over overwhelming feelings.
You had a very good insight when you mentioned that you want to die because you can control it. So much of the feelings you suffer are from a situation that was out of your control. Being able to control something would feel very good right now. But recognizing that you feel that way is in a sense control. You realize how deep your feelings go and your insight helps you seek support when you need it.
Keep in mind, your recovery will not take forever. You are so much further along than you were just a few months ago and way ahead of where you were when we first started talking. You have made great progress and I have no doubt you will continue to do so.
When you work on your symptoms, you will start resolving them one by one. Don't look at them as a group. As each of them are resolved, you will begin to feel better and better. Things will become clearer and you will be able to work on your symptoms on your own as well because you will have gained more insight. So looking at your recovery as a whole will make you feel overwhelmed. But seeing one step at a time helps. It is a step process that become cumulative.
And you already have a good amount of control right now. You are getting help for what happened to you. Your attacker did not win. You are getting better and less and less under his control as you do. You seek help when you feel bad (like now) and you continue to push to feel better. Once you are better, you will be wiser and stronger than you were before the attack. You are showing your attacker that not only will he not win, but you will be a better person for it.
I know you are feeling very sad and down. But instead of pushing those feelings down and trying to rid yourself of them, allow them in. Accept that you feel sad, for today. Make as much accommodations to your schedule as you can so you can indulge yourself. Also, repeat comforting sayings to yourself such as, "this too will pass. I feel this way now but I will feel better soon. Sadness will not hurt me. I am in control and I am allowing myself time to deal with feeling bad". Changing your thinking will help your mood improve and help you feel better. Take one moment at a time if you need to. Time will pass whether you feel good or not, so your sadness will not last forever.