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Sorry to hear of the situation. If you have a history of Depressive Illness then unfortunately you are at a greater risk of experiencing future Depressive episodes. If you are experiencing suicidal ideation then it is time to discuss this with your husband and organize a consultation with a Psychiatrist ASAP. When Depression sets in everything seems hopeless and people feel like a burden - these thoughts and feelings are actually part of the Depression! It sounds like your previous episode was successfully treated and there is no reason why it won't respond to treatment again. If you really feel you can't approach you r husband then call Samaritans on***********right now or visit them at http://www.samaritans.org/ . Samaritans specialize in assisting people in your situation and they will help you take it forward from here.
I know it is very hard to see at the moment but Depressive symptoms (including suicidal thought) do resolve and all you need to do is take the first step by speaking with your husband, your kids or calling Samaritans.
I hope this has been of some help. Good luck!