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AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience:  Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
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I have a problem with number of seemingly small issues that

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Hi, I have a problem with number of seemingly small issues that n the end add up to one big nightmare. I am not able to exactly pinpoint the problem but I know that I am different today and not as happy as I once used o be. Where should i start? Do tests exist to pinpoint number of mild issues?
My problems are a bit of social phobia, inability to relax, sometimes impulsive reactions, self doubt, trying to please others at my own expense, some anxiety, worrying too much, etc,
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  AgapeDoc replied 5 years ago.
Hi, and thank you for contacting Just Answer - You did the right thing. It is my intention to answer your question and exceed your expectations. If you are satisfied with my efforts will you click on the green accept button?
OK.. I see you are off line - let me go ahead and see if I can answer with what you have posted so far.
I think I can help you here. One of your answers is yes there are assessments to identify even small issues and even if an issue doesn't rise to the level of being "clinically problematic" it would give you some idea of what's going on with you and where you stand. For instance, there is the Beck's Depression Inventory (BDI), several personality inventories, and so on...... And you can certainly go that way if you wish - Of course administering assessments goes beyond the scope of what this question and answer website can do.
Having said that....... I would like to suggest that you have already identified some of you issues. And you asserted that your issues are small, but you are feeling a little overwhelmed by the "quantity" of issues.
In my experience in my practice you sound a good candidate for a "Solution Focused" approach.
So... I suggest that you choose one (two at the most) issues that you would like to see improve in you life. The start to recognize times when those things are going well. It is well documented by Solution Focused Counseling research that once a client starts to have success in one area of his/her life that other things start to get better as well.
The philosophy of Solution Focused Therapy is to recognize when things are going better and do more of what works - this will "push out" what is not working if you will.
I suggest the first thing is to become familiar with Solution Focused Therapy - you will very clearly see how to apply this yourself.
I think this is a very good strategy for you given what you have posted.
If you have more questions please post them here - however, if you are satisfied with my efforts, please click on the green accept button.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thanks, ***** ***** is really good. One thing I forgot to mention is that I seem to be 'punishing my self' for something.. This is a key (I feel) how do I unlock it?
Expert:  AgapeDoc replied 5 years ago.
Great question! This also goes very well with a Solution Focused approach. I'm going to ask you to refocus your attention away from "stopping" the punishing to rewarding yourself when you are doing what you consider appropriate. Some of this also comes with how you frame your "self-talk".
For example when you make a mistake, don't say to yourself, "I'm a screw-up". Rather say, "That behavior is unacceptable, but I am a good person and I will do better next time.
Then you can really use positive self-talk when you do something good.
Remember, do some reading on Solution Focused Counseling and this will all become very clear, I'm sure.
Thanks again and let me know what else I can do for you. Keep up the good work.
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