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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5824
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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We have a son who declared to be a gay, seems to suffer from

Customer Question

we have a son who declared to be a gay, seems to suffer from dysthymia in the last 3 years and seems to see his parents as strangers, where could us start to be helpful to him? kimthoa at***@******.***
In 2006 he sucessfully passed entry exam to ETH Zurich, had 2 years succedded in study in ETH, in 2009-2010 he suffer from headache and dysthymia and could not be able to fully complete his study plan, by end of October 2010 he accepted to go back to Vietnam for treatment, but refuse to take medicine since last month. Now he is staying in bed almost full day, woke up at about 15h00 for eating a bit, back to bed again till 19h00, went to the Church till 21h30(he decided to attend a Christian course to have a Catholic Baptism by this December 8), eating more and then watching TV till 23h00, then back to bed again till 15h00 next day... He refused to work any more since last month while since early 2011, he work as half time basis at a consulting company... Now he does not want to ta
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like your son may need more treatment besides medication. Is he willing to see a therapist? If so, ask your doctor for a referral and make an appointment.

Depression can cause a person to lose their motivation and desire to care for themselves. It does sound like your son is able to do some things, like attend church, which is a good sign. He is also making future plans, also very good. But his inability to work or continue his studies are both signs that he feels overwhelmed by his depression. People who are depressed feel hopeless, experience negative thoughts, sleep too little or too much and lose motivation. Appetite loss and apathy are also signs. Suicidal ideation and/or plans can also be a symptom. Since your son is making future plans, this is a good sign. However, he needs an evaluation and treatment to prevent his depression from getting worse.

If your son will not get help, you may want to consider taking him to your local Emergency Room. They can evaluate him and determine if he needs to stay inpatient for treatment. You can contact your local hospital for more details or speak with your son's doctor for information.

Also, learning more about depression and the signs to look for will help you and your family understand what to look for and how to help your son. Here are some resources to help you:

Finding support for you and your son's family is also important. Try for on line groups and assistance. Even if you are not located in the U.S. you can still utilize these services. Also, they may be able to guide you to services that are in your area/country.

I hope this has helped you,

TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5824
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you very much for your prompt answer, it is in line with our understanding and we learnt more that apathy is also a sign of depression. At home and in society he does not bother any one, no violence, just less and less care and less normal talk to parents neither to his brother and not wanted to communicate but times to time writing on facebook, composing musics at night. We do not know for a person as him in this current status, sending him out of family to hospital is a right decision or not, in worry that he may not accept to go neither. About medication he was prescribed with mood disorder too use zoloft 50mg +Seroquel 100mg (Jan11), Solian 200 mg+Seroqquel 50 mg(Feb-Mar11),Risperdal 2mg+seduxem 5mg+suagino (April11), and then received dianostic with depression to use seroquel 50mg June-Sep11, changed to Sumico paroxetine 20mg/2 + Phosphaticlyl (Oct11) --now to sumico 20mg+olanpine 10mg/4. But he refused and had not take olanpine and any other medicine and seems not persuaded to the helpfulness of the medicine, still saw his doctor in every 2-3 weeks but not accept to see her more frequently. Pls advice. Thank you very much.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 5 years ago.

It sounds like he would benefit from an inpatient stay since it seems his depression is getting worse. You may want to talk to his doctor (she may not be able to talk to you freely unless he has signed a consent) and let her know that you think he should be hospitalized. She may be able to convince him. People often listen to professionals since they put a higher value on what they say over family, even if the family is right.