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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5808
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My grandson is 14 years old. He has issues with his mother.

Resolved Question:

My grandson is 14 years old. He has issues with his mother. He felt like she left him to be with her boyfriend. Also, he tries hard not to display emotion. Nothing excites him, he doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Last week he refused th wear his Jr. ROTC uniform on veterans day which resulted in a write up and notice for dismissal for the teacher (Colonel). I told him to write an apology letter to teacher, class, and veterans and he did but he said he didn't mean it. He wants to be a Navy Seal but I think this may harm his chances. I think he's depressed but he swears he will runaway if he has to go. I threw down the gauntlet after this last act of disrespect and told him he would be going to counseling and I'd take my chances on him running.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.


It does sound like your grandson is depressed. Low motivation, not caring about himself or others and withholding emotion (or not being able to express it) all are signs of depression.


If his mother did leave him to be with her boyfriend, he may feel abandoned. Although your grandson is 14, he still operates with a child's emotions most of the time. As a result, he would feel deeply hurt by his mother's actions. A child's connect to their parents is the strongest one until they become adults and even then it can remain strong. Your grandson not only may feel abandoned, but he also has suffered a loss. This is what may have caused his depression.


I agree that counseling would help. His refusal to go may be driven by his fear of forming a bond with anyone else. He may feel that if he tries to trust someone, they will go away like his mother did. This is probably why he continues to threat to run away. He is fearful of being close to anyone.


If you want, talk with your grandson about his situation. Let him know you care and that you are there for him. At this point, it is important that he knows he is cared about. If he goes on the way he is, he may have trust issues and difficulty forming relationships in the future.


If there are others in the family that can step in to help, that would also be ideal. Especially a female such as an aunt or grandmother. This would help your grandson learn that he can form bonds with people and not all of them leave.


I hope this has helped you,

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