Hi Jeremy, I'd like to help you with your question.
There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling. You are reacting completely normal. You were abused as a child and never told anyone. This is horrible and traumatizing. It is never a big deal to tell someone what happened to you and to get help.
The first step should be to find a therapist. You need to talk to someone who not only understands what you went through and the effects of it, but that can help you work through the trauma. To find a therapist, talk to your doctor (you don't need to say why you want to see a therapist). Or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
If you have any trusted family you can talk with, you can also speak with them. Sharing your burden and having support is important.
If you feel that your uncle's children are in danger, you may want to talk to your therapist about your options. Telling your family what happened to you may cause some reactions that are hard to cope with such as anger and defensiveness, but protecting the children from their father is important. Your therapist can be there for you as a support and also help guide you through the situation. Keeping secrets is what the abuser counts on. If it is no longer a secret, then he cannot continue to abuse.
Sexual abuse, unfortunately, is common. But because of that, there are numerous supports available on line and through groups. Here are some resources to help you:
The Courage to Heal Workbook: A Guide for Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by ***** *****
Also, you may want to write about your experience. This will help you express how you feel and help you see your progress. Being sexually abused is a trauma and reoccuring thoughts are normal. Writing down how you feel will help.
More than anything, it is a good sign that you are reaching out. This means you are healthy and have a good chance of overcoming this trauma and moving on.
I hope this helps you,
If you found your answer helpful, please click ACCEPT. Even if you placed a deposit, I am not paid unless you accept. Thank you!