My 41-year old daughter, a Registered Nurse, has been married to her 41-year old husband for 18 years. "Bill" has been diagnosed as "Manic-Depressive" and has Attention Deficit Disorder
. He is a hypochondriac, always complaining of ailments (asthsma, allergies, headaches, backaches, breathing problems, kidney stones, Sleep Apnea, etc.). He weighs more than 250 lbs. He has a very poor record of not being able to keep a job - always blaming the employer and finding fault with co-workers. A great part of the problem has been his "calling out sick". He is always going to a "new" doctor or specialist because he has such a "complicated case". He has been seeing the same private psychologist for more than six years and has been taking the maximum strength of Cymbalta for this time period. "Bill" also takes many other medications. He is often sleepy and grumpy. In my view, he is "addicted" to prescription drugs. "Bill" is using the medical insurance that my daughter carries for him. Last year (2010), "Bill" accumulated more than $60,000.00 in medical bills. For the last year he has been unemployed and has decided to be "a Stay at Home Dad" for his 12-year old daughter. He does almost nothing except sleep and cause trouble and stress
for my daughter. He is always complaining how "sick" he is. His health problems have been so "severe", that at times, he will go to the Emergency Room on his own, call an ambulance, or have my daughter take him to the hospital in the middle of the night. "Bill" is the biggest "actor" I can imagine. He, evidently, can convince the physicians that he is really ill and they are always prescribing medications for him. It is interesting that "Bill" can be the drummer in a Christian music band and can attend school events for his child - looking strong and well. And yet, "Bill" is constantly phoning my daughter about his "health problems" and "bullying
" her when she comes home in the evening. My daughter works two jobs - Ambulatory Surgery Unit at a Medical University complex during the week and 12 hour shifts on Saturdays and Sundays caring for newborns in another hospital. She pays for all the financial resposibilities for the home, 2 cars, private school for the child, gas, food and household expenses. She is emotionally exhausted. She never gets a good night's sleep. I am greatly concerned about her mental wellbeing. In 2006, she moved out of their house and came with her daughter to my home for 11 months. She desperately wanted a divorce. Unfortunately, "Bill" was relentless in his desire to get his family back together. If they had been separated for a year, she could have proceeded with the divorce. However, Bill persuaded her that reconciling would be in the best interest of the child. The decision has been devastating for her. Over the years, my husband and I have given daily support for my daughter and her child.
I will greatly appreciate your response.