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Ask Suzanne Your Own Question
Suzanne, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  LCSW, RN. Mental Health, Relationship & Parenting issues.EMDR, Hypnosis.
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A few weeks ago my wife and I got into a little argument

Customer Question

A few weeks ago my wife and I got into a little argument things got a bit heat then she said she was not happy and mentioned divorce. I was blindsided because that has never crossed my mind and I just didn't see it coming. After things cooled down and we talked more she said she does want to make our marriage work however she wants to go to counseling she just said she needs space and time. It's been two and half weeks now and she still hasn't gone to counseling because with work and the kids she says there is not time. I'm just confused on what to do because she doesn't want me to show any affection towards her and it seems like I'm just making things worse because I can't stop talking to her about our marriage and I also asked her if she was cheating on me which just made things worse. I'm trying to be a better husband but she just looks at it as desperation. I one thing I do know is I love my wife more then anything in the world and would be lost without her. I just don't know what to do because I seem to just be annoying her more and more with all the questions about our marriage. I think if she really wanted a divorce she would already have moved out but I'm just afraid I'm making the situation worse with my actions. Could you please let me know the best way to handle this situation.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.
Thanks for bringing your question to JustAnswer.

I think you need to take more decisive action--set up a babysitter and make an appointment with a marriage counselor. Take care of all the details. Don't act desperate--women really tend to dislike it when a man acts needy. Try to have more of a "take charge" attitude. Find a therapist
who specializes in couples work, call them and get two appointment time choices. Make sure child care is arranged, then tell your wife to pick one of the two appointment times.

This is a time to act like a man on a mission, and not spend so much time trying to talk. She wants to see that your actions will match your words...too much has been said that was hurtful. She wants to see that you're sincere. Assertively setting up counseling will go a long way toward convincing her that you're for real about saving the marriage.

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