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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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Our son is 25 years old, works in our family business has a

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Our son is 25 years old, works in our family business has a very good heart but in his personel life he seems out of control. Excessive binge drinking and these "roommates' that seem to have appeared off the street and are not working, grubby. His apt that has very nice funiture looked like a flop house yesterday when I went to see if he was home when he didnt show for work. My question is should I try to convince him to move home to try to guide him positivly? My husband and I fought alot the last time we tried this and there was alot of loud drama. The arguments were very out of control as he would scream so the neighbours could hear,with no consideration. That said I am so worried about getting a call that he is in the hospital,jail, (both of these have happened before.Are we right to bring him home to guide him, or coddling?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You are always right to an extent to save your child. However you have to consider also what it could cost you. He is an adult and your husband may feel that he needs to save himself. Depending on whether you believe in tough love or gentle persuasion is the direction you should take. It appears that you have one philosophy and your husband another. There has to be a compromise made so that you can sleep at night but not damage your relationship. There are resources out there if he wanted them. A compromise could be that he would come home for a short period of time but not indefinitely. In the end you and your husband should run your household through a mutual compromise. Have a discussion about how to resolve this and not lose your marriage.

I would reach a compromise and approach your son about it. He may not even be willing to agree. When someone has not reached rock bottom they don't always do the right thing. You can't save anyone that doesn't want to be saved. He still has his own mind. If he wants to live negatively he will.

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