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Penny Rayas, MFT
Penny Rayas, MFT, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 395
Experience:  I have 20 years experience in the mental health field
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my question is that i feel that my son is not happy at home,

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my question is that i feel that my son is not happy at home, i think that he holds too much inside he doesnt know how to express his feelings for the following reasons since he was growing up he saw how his dad treated me physically, emotionally, and vervally, and that he was never around we were allway fighting, his dad when my son was 6yrs old hold a gun to my sons head and also theathen to burn the house down and i never left him but in 2006 his dad told me to get out of the house threw my belongings outside so for the first time took his word left went to a shelter 3 weeks after went to a leave in job to clean the house than i got involved with this guy lasted 2 months i came back home with my husband im wondering if my son holds a grudge against me because maybe he
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Penny Rayas, MFT replied 5 years ago.
Hello thank for asking JA. It looks like you and your son have survived so much! I would like to know why do you think your son is not happy at home. Can you tell me how old is he and what behaviors make you think he is unhappy?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

my is is turning 20 in november 30th the reason i say that is because i sense that and no matter what he is not happy but yet he doesnt want me to leave his father well i sense that he doesnt talk to us about anything and he knows he can count on me for anything he is different when he is else where but if my husband and i are present he is not the same person i feel he has anger inside him what are the things that i can do to help him it hurts me so much to see him like that i cant talk to him because he does not let me everything that i do is not good i pray for him thats about the only thing i regret staying with his dad because of what he had to go throught but as he got older i couldnt do it because im too nice of a person and i needed his father because he has a strong character i feel that my son needs to open up to someone

Expert:  Penny Rayas, MFT replied 5 years ago.
Hello there thanks for explaining. I think even when children are adults and they had a difficult life with their parents they still don't want their parents to divorce. I am not sure that you can do anything to facilitate him talking to you about his anger. He will talk about it when he is ready to discuss it. You can tell him that you are here to talk to him if he needs to. I think all children are different when their parents are present. I think the best thing you can do for your son is to be happy yourself. If you are abused you need to leave your husband and create a better life for yourself. Your son will eventually understand why you left and come around. What happened in the past can't be changed. You can only change the present and build the future. I think your son will open up to a friend or a girlfriend. After a while, when he is older he will also open up to you. I am sorry about everything you went through. You are a nice person but you have to be nice to yourself and that will help your son.
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