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Mark Manley
Mark Manley, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 402
Experience:  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Over 15 years exp. Married 30 years and happy.
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I think my wife needs help. she has a hard time focusing on

Resolved Question:

Hello, i think my wife needs help. she has a hard time focusing on anything, movies, ballgames and conversation. She has been banned from several stores and my dentist will no longer see her. She has a hard time ith analagies. She constantly repeats herself and has a constant need to make noise either by clapping, slapping her body (thighs) whistling, singing and our conversation revolves around what we doing for breakfast/dinner or trips to the store. I'm at my witts end and she won't go to a doctor. What can i do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Mark Manley replied 5 years ago.
I am sorry you are going through most difficult situation. You are right she needs to be seen by a doctor. So the next step is all about getting her to see a doctor. Can you tell me more about her resistance to seeing a doctor and maybe we can figure out a plan to over come her resistance. I look forward to hearing from you.
Mark Manley
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

She refuses to go, my daughter is in her 4th year of med school (evms) and she came down and scheduled appointments for her, she went to all but the psych appt.

All the family is worried about her, and i am frustrated. Should i try to cloak the appt as something else? Should we go see marriage counselers as a start?

Expert:  Mark Manley replied 5 years ago.
I would recommend a family/friend intervention.
This is a process where the most influential people in the patient's life are assembled and work in concert to achieve the goal of getting the patient to submit to psychiatric evaluation and treatment.
You may want to enlist the services of a trained professional intervention counselor to assist you in the precess.
The basic steps are:
1. Obvious members of the potential team work together to decide who will be on the intervention team.
2. The team has a meeting to discuss and clarify the purpose of the intervention, (to get patient to submit to psychiatric evaluation and treatment).
3. All team members state their commitment to the goal and to the solidarity of the group, (if they are not sold on the goal or the need to stand together to assist the patient they should not be on the team).
4. Each member of the team prepares a brief statement regarding their concern for the patient, what they want the patient to do and what they are willing to do to assist the patient. A big part of what they are willing to do includes support they are willing to withdraw from the patient. An example of this would be,
" I am no longer willing to talk with you about anything other than you getting the help you need.", or "I am no longer willing to allow you to have financial privileges in our marriage until you get the help you need." This step takes creativity and thought. The purpose is to provide every kind of positive support imaginable and withdraw every other type of support that is currently being supplied. The idea is to make it very costly (emotionally, socially, and financially) to avoid treatment while simultaneously making it very easy and advantageous to accept treatment.
Step 5. Hold a meeting with the patient and the team (this will be a surprise to the patient). Here each person on the team calmly makes their statement to the patient. The goal is to have the patient voluntarily agree to go from the meeting directly to the psychiatrist's office for evaluation. Of course this takes pre-planning and coordination with the psychiatrist's office.
This process is done with firmness but in a spirit of love and concern for the patient.
If you google "family intervention" or the like you will find more information and resources.
I hope this helps.
Mark Manley
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