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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5808
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I am 37 years old, married with one child. I suffer from soc

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I am 37 years old, married with one child. I suffer from social phobia. I am always thinking that people are judging me and I always feel like impressing people even those I don' t know a s do 't relate too just for making sure I am not criticised. What is it that I need to overcome this? This is eclipsing me and my personality and affecting my marriage and even my relationship with myself and others. I never sound true but always fake and wearing a mask when this is not what I want. I avoid hurting people with my words or my reactions so that I do 't get judged or hated for that. I always search for love and salways want to be nice so that people love me. I am fake. Is there a remedy? If yes what and how? My husband is a very straight forward and successful businessman and he has no problem expressing his true feelings and handling any problem. He knows right from wrong. I don't. I don't know when to get claim my rights and am worried about making mistakes and have my conscious clear. I always try to justify things even when things look wrong trying to give people the benefit of the doubt. I am not true to myself nor to people around me. I hate myself
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.


Phobias are easy to treat and with the right help, you can overcome this problem. Phobias respond well to treatment and self help. The more you know, the better you will feel.


Therapy was a very good step to take. But it sounds like you ended up with a therapist that was not very helpful. Sometimes, finding a good therapist is like finding a doctor you are comfortable with, you need to ask for recommendations and try a few before you find someone you can work with. Ask your doctor for a referral or contact the local mental health center to see if they have anyone they recommend.


Self help is also a great way to get what you need and solve your problem on your own. Here are some resources to get you started:


Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques by GillXXXXX XXXXX


Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven, Step-by-Step Techniques for Overcoming your Fear by Martin Antony Ph.D. and Richard Swinson MD FRCPC FRCP


The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (Anxiety & Phobia Workbook) by Edmund J. Bourne


You can find these books on or your local library may have them for you.


Also, consider support groups on line. You will find like minded individuals who can give you support and tips on how to handle how you feel.


You may also have a personality type that is very different than your husbands. Some people find it easy to be extroverted (like your husband) and some are introverted, which may describe you. If someone who is introverted tries to act extroverted, they struggle and become frustrated. Try these sites for a good description and see if it fits your personalty:


I hope this has helped you,



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