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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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My wife constantly contradict me eithier about my opinions

Resolved Question:

hi my wife constantly contradict me eithier about my opinions eitheir about how to raise all children. they have been numourous occasions that i have tried to divorce her because i feel that there is no sharing and cooperation in our life. I was told by many of my freinds and elders that if i divorce her, the future of my children would be jeoperdised. she hates if some one will tell some thing negative about her. I try to entertain her and make her feel loved by me. however, she is keeping her position and she feels way much closer to her parents and her brother and sisters than me. recently she has told me that she does not want go to see my father at all and my father feels very bad about it. i do not feel that we have too many things in common except our dear children. i try to calm her down and she is always worried and afraid. she is presently seeing a Psychologist and she has told her that she could help her by not so passive. However, couple of time i left the house to get a divorce and she did not let me see my children and she was trying to alienate my children. what would you suggest if you were in my shoes.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

I think you should do what makes you happy. If that is divorce then there are attorneys that can help you see your children and sort out the details after that choice. For a marriage to be healthy you both have to be happy. If either of you aren't happy then the marriage shouldn't continue. You both have to be on board regarding ways to help you resolve your differences for it to be successful. If she feels there is nothing wrong with her as part of this couple help can't resolve problems if only one person is to blame. It takes effort from both of you. You have to have more in common than children. Life is more than having children in common. You have to decide what you want and follow through. You can figure out how everything will work once you decide if staying together will benefit you, her and the children

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i tried to divorce her a year ago and she did not let any of my children to contact me and she basicly alineated all my children and i could not afford to go to attorney and some after 9 months of seperation some one suggested that i should go back try to reconcile with her and she told me that she loves me and she will try to work it out. however since i am back she is singing the same tune as before and she blames me and other for my financial difficulty and she is extremely attached to her parents and her sister and brothers. she is 46 years old but she is very dependent of them.i just feel that i'll be traitor to my children. any suggestion.
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
You wouldn't be a traitor to your children. Divorce doesn't make you a traitor. You are simply doing what is best for the children. What about how they see you in this unhappy home. I know it's hard when someone is vindictive. But you still have to be happy. How that is handled as I said goes through the courts but you could end up being able to work out issues such as that. As far as your wife, her family is going to side with her so this may complicate things too. You have to decide what you want more. Happiness or being unhappy but not having the other difficulties
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