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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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Hi there, I hope you can help me. My boyfriend and I are 22,

Resolved Question:

Hi there, I hope you can help me. My boyfriend and I are 22, I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and I still haven’t orgasmed. He has problems either maintaining an erection , or when he does have one the sex only lasts for 5 minutes.
Ive never had this problem with other boyfriends, and Its very upsetting for me because sex is very important to me. We hardly ever have sex, but I want to have sex regularly.
When I confront him about it, he gets upset and angry and avoids the topic. He said he has always had this problem , and has seen a doctor about taking viagra, which doesn’t work for him. And he has considered getting his penis straightened to help with the blood flow, because he has a slightly curved penis.
He told me he has never really enjoyed sex that much, his parents were always against sex, and he has some performance anxiety. So I think the root of all his sexual issues is psychological and not physical.
What can I do to get him to see someone, or to help solve this problem? Its such a sensitive issue for him and I’m obviously not approaching it right.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

If he has been cleared medically then the cause could be psychological. No one can be sure of that unless he receives an evaluation. He could however benefit from the support and guidance of a mental health professional. First you have to introduce the idea of talking to a therapist or projecting the possible benefits is really pointless. I have one suggestion that could be valuable to consider. You (and him) can access therapy online and he would not have to face a therapist with such a sensitive issue. If you Google etherapy and ecounseling you can actually access real therapy that is done by webcam or even IM if he doesn't want to face a therapist. Everything involves actual therapy where you get a time and you can talk without them even seeing you. This might be your best hope.


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