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Dr. Vikas
Dr. Vikas, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2253
Experience:  MBBS ; M.D Psychiatry, MS. Health Informatics
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Daughter of my brother (she is above 18 yrs) is trapped by

Resolved Question:

daughter of my brother (she is above 18 yrs) is trapped by an overseas man online. He and his family is trapping her for their green card. He is very abusive online. They have not met. The whole family is making her run away from her family and go overseas to marry him. He calls her prostitute, slut and whore; he asks for her pics and now even asking for nude pics. She has a low self-esteem and after sending pics she believes that she is, indeed a whore. She also wrote in her diary that because he is calling her a prostitute so many times that she rather commit suicide. He is now making her to come to him to get married. He gave her 10 days to do so. Still he wants the almost nude pics. She questions him why does he need nude pics when she is going to be married to him in few days. She had been involved with this man for the last 2-3 yrs. She is not going to college as he has asked her to marry first and then they together will go to college. He is 20 yrs old. She had issues with her family because she was not attending high school. She could not control her anger and once was taken to juvenile hall. She blames all of this to her father. She has some history with her father calling her slut when upset at her. He has changed now and have apologized to her many many times and told her that she is the girl with super moral values, that it was all his fault for saying such things, she is not to be blamed of anything, that he did not mean what he said to her in anger, that he did not know how to handle her situation of her not going to high school, that he loves more than his own life, etc. She refuses to go to a psychiatrist believing that she is not depressed or do not have any fault. Family is very concerned that she will run away in his hands and then will end up either killing him or he killing her or she committing a suicide.? It is urgent. In 7 days she will demand to go overseas to this man and if parents refuses to send her then she may become violent; parent do not want her to get involved with law enforcement again; she is a very good girl and have controlled her anger a lot but in this matter she do get angry. What shall the family do now?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Vikas replied 5 years ago.
Hello,

This appears to be a very complicated matter. Telling her to not go or to put hurdles in her way is not going to be useful at all in my view. On the basis of what you have mentioned, it appears to me that, the more she is persuaded not to go, the more desperate and violent she will become to go.

In my opinion, one thing which her parents could do right now if it is possible for them to do so is that, instead of opposing her plans to meet this man,they can just ask her whether they can also accompany her to see this man and his family. They can also tell her that if they find everything perfect they will have no objection in whatever she is doing.

By doing this, they can win her confidence and after meeting this man and his family they will also be in a better position to judge the situation accurately.

If they find something odd or fishy, they will be in a better position to explain and show it to her hoping that she will now listens to them.

Please feel free to ask any related query.

Best wishes,

Vikas

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
They have been monitoring ther online chats and have also recorded phone calls. She has tried to break up with him many times but he says or does something (may be threat or emotional black mail) that she again goes back. He is aggressively asking for her pics, and now for even nude pics. He calls her slut after he gets the pics. She has not sent any naked or close to naked pics yet. HE is abusive to her. She tells him in chats that he has made her a prostitute; he admits that he will make her a protitute. So, isn't this info enough to confront her with and tell her to be realistic. She is psychologically self-destructive. I believe she thinks that this is her fate, be a prostitute with him, or commit a suicide. She also want her parent's consent to marry him but his family pushes her to run away. Parents like toc onfront her with evidence but are afraid that she may become violent and then somebody may call police. Please advise.
Expert:  Dr. Vikas replied 5 years ago.
Thanks for your reply and please accept my apology for the delay in reply.

She definitely needs help from a psychiatrist or psychologist. Can she be persuaded to see a psychiatrist if she is given this assurance that the whole family will accompany her to see this man?
Expert:  Dr. Vikas replied 5 years ago.
Thanks for your reply and please accept my apology for the delay in reply.

She definitely needs help from a psychiatrist or psychologist. Can she be persuaded to see a psychiatrist first if she is given this assurance that the whole family will accompany her to see this man?
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