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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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i have a really bad temper and at times get out of control it is destorying my marriage an

Customer Question

i have a really bad temper and at times get out of control it is destorying my marriage and want to stop please help me it is so bad my wife has left took our son with her and talking divorce but tells me that she really loved me when i wasn't so angery we have lost a daughter last year do to a still birth and i have been married twice if you count this one it is my third i want my anger under contorl i love my wife
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 5 years ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

Anger is so hard to control. Sometimes it is due to chemical imbalances of seratonin, adrenaline and noradrenaline, Sometimes it is learned behavior from childhood. It can be treated through various types of psychotherapy and can respond to certain medications, often SSRIs.

The psychotherapies used restructures beiefs and thoughts in order to reduce anger, and include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). Both of this methods help to reframe certain dysfunctional thoughts, assumptions, and evaluations. They can include what is called "stress innoculation" in which they learn how to relax instead of getting angry. They learn to understand the progression of their anger and reframe their thoughts. Success rate is very high

I urge you to find a good therapist who specializes in anger managagement or in CBT or REBT therapy. Make sure that you feel empathy between you and the therapist and then go to the sessions until you learn to change your behavior.

Your wife will be more apt to give you a chance if you actively seek help.

Anger can't just be supressed. If you bottle it up it eventually explodes and this method does not work. You must change your thinking.

I recommend a book for you which you can find on It is NOT a substitute for therapy, but will give you a jumpstart on the process of healing. It is:

The Anger Busting Workbook: Simple, Powerful Techniques for Managing Anger & Saving Relationships by James Addison Baker

I hope that this information and encouragement can turn your life around, save your marriage and family, and give you a new, peaceful personality that doesn't fall back into this habitual cycle. You CAN be helped.

Warm regards,
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
so this book has good turn outs you say right
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 5 years ago.
Dear friend,

Yes, this book has helped many people, as long as it is thoroughly read and followed. However, I still strongly urge you to seek therapy as well, in order to do as much as you can to go the limit to save your marriage. Your situation seems urgent and you need to move quickly and show your wife that you are giving everything you can in order to change and save the marriage. She will be more moved by you telling her that you have gone to therapy, rather than telling her that you bought an effective and helpful workbook.

You should do both. I pray for you, that you can save your family.

Warm regards,
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC